


The Songbirds Are Singing

by galinda



Series: Box of Rain [2]
Category: Shadowhunters (TV), The Shadowhunter Chronicles - All Media Types
Genre: 80s, 90s, Alternate Universe - 1980s, Alternate Universe - 1990s, Alternate Universe - 2000s, F/F, F/M, M/M, Mention of AIDs/HIV, Recreational Drug Use, Time Skips
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-05-28
Packaged: 2019-10-24 21:58:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 21,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17712356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/galinda/pseuds/galinda
Summary: Years after running away together, Alec and Magnus find themselves faced with hardships they never expected. But together, they find that they have the will to get through anything, no matter what life throws at them.This is the sequel to "Box of Rain," following multiple time stamps after the original story.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> if you haven't read "box of rain," i strongly advise you to do so, as it is important to read before this piece. 
> 
> warning for heavy topics, sensitive to the time period.

__

 

_October 31 st, 1989 _

Alec groans as Magnus yanks the tight pair of shorts up his thighs, the shiny material scratching his skin. He leans forward against the wall of the van, feeling as Magnus secures the material around him. “Why couldn’t we just be Luke and Han, like I wanted to?” Alec complains, falling back on the mattress beneath them.

Magnus laughs, and goes back to his compact mirror. He admires his work, reassuring himself that every line was smooth. “Because it’s not that kind of party, Alexander,” Magnus responds, powdering his face one more time. “Besides, everyone there is going to be absolutely gawking at you. I want them to be jealous of me.”

“You’re such a narcissist,” Alec responds. “If we don’t hurry, we’ll be late.” Magnus checks himself out one more time. He grabs Alec’s hand and squeezes it. With a smile, he hands Alec one of his longer trench coats.

“Okay Rocky, let’s roll.”

 

Within the hour, Alec finds himself sandwiched between two other men, their bodies practically sweating vodka. He tries to ignore how one of them rests his hands on Alec’s hips. Magnus spots him in the crowd, holding up two shots. The man behind Alec leans forward, pressing himself against Alec’s lower back. As Magnus gets closer, Alec pulls away.

Once he reaches the other man, he grabs the glass out of his hand and downs it in one shot. Magnus raises his eyebrows, before following suit. “I saw someone dressed as a slutty Nancy Reagan, maybe we thought this costume thing all wrong.”

“I would much rather be in a suit than whatever you call this,” he gestures to his lower body.

“Spandex.”

“At least your costume is recognizable,” Alec points at Magnus’s figure, adorned with a glittery black corset and underwear that matches the movie. “I look like a stripper.”

“That’s the point,” Magnus says. He wraps his arm up around Alec’s shoulders. “It’s hot.” He kisses the other man, the taste of whiskey mixing with his upper lip sweat. Alec tries to protest, but gets lost in the feeling of Magnus’s hands running down his hips. The rest of the night they dance together, occasionally letting other men come between them.

It had become a habit for the duo to invite other men to dance with them. Magnus started it at an after party the summer they followed the tour. At first, Alec had been skeptical, but then he realized how riled up it got him. A Madonna song comes on, and everyone around them start screaming. Alec feels Magnus get pushed into his back.

“Let’s get out of here,” Magnus yells over the crowd, and Alec nods. They push their way through the bodies, barely making it out into the street. The chill Oregan air hits Alec’s near naked body, sending a shock up his spine.

The duo catches their breath for a minute, and Alec looks around. There are a few other people scattered around the streets, but no one is looking in their direction. Alec grabs Magnus’s hand and pulls him forward, locking their lips. Magnus gasps for air, and licks the side of Alec’s face.

Alec laughs, “What are you doing?” He asks.

Magnus pauses, and laughs too. “I don’t know, the bartender slipped me something and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you ever since.” He kisses down Alec’s neck, and grabs his hand. “Let’s go.”

 

The two men make their way down the streets of Portland, among other people in costumes. Alec feels exposed, having lost the jacket somewhere in the party. He crosses his arms to cover his chest, feeling self-conscious as a group of girls whistle at him. Alec blushes, and they turn on the street where their van was parked. Magnus walks up to the spot where it was parked, now empty.

“What the fuck?” He exclaims. “It was right here, right?” Alec nods, his jaw dropping. Magnus walks into the street, standing in the spot. “It was towed. Or stolen. It’s gone.” Alec just stares at his boyfriend. “What do we do?”

Alec’s eyes dart back and forth, from the empty asphalt, back up to Magnus. He takes a deep breath, and turns around, seeing their reflection in a shop mirror. Magnus puts his arms on his hips, the strings from his corset coming undone. Suddenly, Alec bursts out laughing. “This is ridiculous,” he exclaims. Magnus huffs, and joins him back on the sidewalk. “We look ridiculous.”

Magnus rolls his eyes. “That’s the point of Halloween, Alexander.” After a moment, he joins the other man in his laughter. Once they’re done, Alec grabs his hand, and leads him down the sidewalk.

 

“Are you fucking kidding me?” Aline complains, after opening the door to see two of her friends half-naked and clearly high. “It’s almost 3am, I have work in the morning.” She steps out of the way anyway, letting the two men walk in.

“Relax, we won’t make any noise,” Magnus says.

Aline rolls her eyes. “You said that last time,” Alec and Magnus head toward the guest room, one they were all too familiar with. Magnus liked to think they were nomads, but that didn’t mean that money wasn’t tight.

They had met Aline at a Guns n’ Roses concert in Arizona, a year after leaving Brooklyn. She told them about Portland, about the changing political climate and queer community. Stories of gay bars where the patrons were left alone by outsiders. Two women could hold hands in the park, and not get ogled at. After going two years without any sort of destination, Alec and Magnus followed her there. They still didn’t have enough money to get a permanent place, but it was nice to be part of a community.

Alec watches as Aline slams the door shut, and he falls back on the bed next to Magnus. Every night for the past three years, it was always next to Magnus. “What are we going to do now?” Magnus asks, kissing Alec’s chest. Alec shivers under his touch.

“I don’t know,” he responds. He feels Magnus kiss down his naval, toward the shiny spandex, and the van becomes a distant memory.

 

_November 15 th, 1989_

Magnus collapses on the couch, groaning loudly enough that Aline, and her girlfriend Helen, look up from their dinner. “Yes?” Helen asks, and Aline smiles at her, taking another bite of their takeout.

“I hate those women at work,” Magnus says, his voice muffled by the cushions. He pushes himself up, so that he’s facing them. “All they do is talk about their stupid church groups and how their husbands all sit on the couch all day. At lunch, one of them asked me if I was Chinese.” Magnus rolls his eyes. “You know, it’s bad enough that I have to wear this hideous polo-shirt and,” he pretends to gag. “Khakis.”

Aline holds up one of the takeout boxes, and Magnus gets up to grab it. “I know it sucks, but… I don’t know, isn’t that the point of all of this?” She gestures to the apartment. Magnus sits down at the table and pours a heaping pile of noodles onto a plate.

“What do you mean?” He asks. He watches as Aline grabs Helen’s hand on top of the table and squeezes.

“It’s not like Helen or I want to live at this shitty apartment for the rest of our lives,” Aline continues. “I mean, managing GAP isn’t exactly the career I want forever. But we’re putting up with it, for the future. For our future. So instead of quitting, like I know you want to, you should stick it out, for Alec.”

Magnus sighs and leans back in his chair. “You’re right,” he says. “I just… I wish I could give him more.”

The pager on Helen’s jeans beeps, and she gets up from the table. “I’m sure Alec is perfectly content with anything as long as it’s with you.” She takes a pill bottle from the counter, pouring one tablet out. Magnus feels Aline tense at the table, and they watch her swallow it.

 

Alec plays gently with Magnus’s hair and they sit on the couch that night, exhausted from work. He had spent the day on a strenuous mail route. His coworker had called out, leaving him alone to do twice the work. Magnus never complained, though, as the job had kept Alec in the best shape he had been in since leaving New York. As Magnus falls asleep on him, he watches a documentary come on. He puts it on mute, but watches as images of the nationally renowned AIDS quilt flash on the screen. Clips of news casters follow suit, until it settles on an image of the March on Washington, from two years before. His mind races, back to their first few months on the road.

 

_Magnus leans forward on the bar, glancing back at Alec at every commercial break. The news on the small T.V. in the bar was playing footage from the march, with people debating. Next to him, he hears a group of men talking loudly over the broadcast._

_“I don’t know what these pansies think any walking is gonna do,” one of them says. “Back in my day, we got things done with hard work.” Magnus feels Alec’s eyes land on him from the table behind them. He spins around on the stool and looks at him, gaze soft. He sees the anger in Alec’s eyes._

_“Hard work?” Another man says. “None of those fags know what hard work is. All they do is sit around with each other all day, spreading that disease.” Magnus shakes his head, seeing Alec, and a few of the other men with them getting angry._

_“Yeah, well, maybe it’ll finally kill them all,” another man says. Magnus hastily gets up from the stool, pushing it back into the bar. The group of men all look at him, and snicker. He was in one of Alec’s denim jackets, oversized, covering his patterned button-up and jewelry. But he knew what he looked like, especially in a dive bar where the patrons were mostly men who had just gotten off work at the construction site nearby._

_Magnus walks back to the table, standing in front of Alec. “Is that your boyfriend?” One of the men asks. Magnus ignores him, trying to block them from Alec’s view, but it’s too late._

_“Yes, I am,” Alec says, standing up. Magnus grabs his arm, trying to calm him down. “What about it?”_

_One of the men stands up from his seat. “What are you gonna do? Dance? Cry?” He steps closer to them, and two more of their friends stand up. Magnus’s stomach starts to feel uneasy._

_“Let’s go,” Underhill, a friend they had made while following the tour says. “It’s not worth our time.” As they start to leave, one of the men speaks up._

_“So which one of you has that disease?” He asks, voice raised. “Or is it all of you?” Underhill stops, looking back over at the men. Magnus tries to push Alec forward, but it’s too late. “Don’t all f-“ Before the man can continue, Underhill surges forward, punching him in the jaw. Not a moment later, hell breaks loose, and Magnus finds himself dodging punches. Alec pushes a man away from them, when another grabs his arm, pulling him into the fight._

_“Alec?” Magnus yells. He spots him on the ground, on top of one of the men. He’s throwing punches, and the guy is nearly passed out, blood everywhere. “Alec, stop! Let’s go before the cops come!” Magnus dives into the fight, and pulls Alec off. His nose is bleeding, and his cheek is already turning purple._

_“But, he,” Alec’s out of breath, wheezing, from a blow to the stomach._

_“Let’s go, it’s not worth it.” Magnus grabs his hand and pulls him out of the bar. Underhill comes out behind them, coughing. He wipes blood from his mouth and collapses on the concrete._

_Alec catches his breath, and kneels down to their friend’s side. He’s curled up, weak. “Are you okay?”_

_Underhill nods, but can’t hold himself up. “We need to take him to the hospital,” Magnus says. He and Alec pull the other man up, balancing him as they make their way to the car. They put him in the back seat, hearing his breathing shallow._

 

A shot of a man in a hospital bed, body ridden with purple sores, hooked up to an oxygen machine comes on the T.V. Alec watches it for a minute, trying not to think back to that night.

_“It’s not the fight that killed him,” the doctor says. “His immune system was so weak from the disease that he didn’t stand a chance at recovering.”_

As Magnus shifts in his sleep, burying his head in Alec’s lap, Alec turns off the T.V.

 

_December 10 th,1989 _

                Aline sighs, leaning back into the couch. “Would it be so immoral to kick them out? I mean, they got their van back.” Helen laughs.

“This is the first solid place they’ve had in years,” Helen says. “Plus, they help with the rent. It’s not a bad set-up.”

As Aline opens her mouth to answer, she’s interrupted by Alec’s voice from the other room. “I know, but at what cost?” Helen smiles, and covers her girlfriend’s ears.

 

“Magnus!” Alec yells, breathless. He feels the other man tense behind him, sweating and breathing heavily. Alec presses his forehead into the cool sheets, feeling Magnus’s body weight collapse onto his back. Magnus rests his cheek in between Alec’s shoulder blades, taking in the familiar scent of the other man.

“I love you,” Magnus whispers, still catching breath. He wraps his arms around Alec’s stomach, shifting so that they’re both on their sides. Alec cups Magnus’s hands between his own, feeling him kiss the back of his neck.

After a few minutes, Alec pushes himself up. “I got my Christmas bonus,” he says, voice hoarse. Magnus watches as he gets out of the bed, pulling on a pair of sweatpants.

“That’s great,” Magnus says. He wraps himself up in the blankets. “So… what are you gonna do with it?”

Alec shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll get you something for Christmas.” Magnus smiles, stretching out on the bed. “Since it’s our first Christmas together, not in a motel.”

“There’s nothing you could get me that wouldn’t make me happier than I already am,” Magnus says. Alec turns around to face him, blushing.

“I doubt that,” Alec says. Magnus raises an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t have to lie,” Alec says. “I know you hate your job,” before Magnus can protest, Alec continues. “You deserve more than sitting at a desk making sales calls.”

“That doesn’t mean I’m not happy with my life,” Magnus says. “As long as I’m with you, I’m happy… Are you happy?”

Alec rests his head on Magnus’s shoulder. “I am happy,” he says. “But, I don’t know… I want to do something more. Not just for us, but, for the community. I’m tired of ignoring it all.”

Magnus kisses Alec’s cheek. “I know how you feel,” he says. “But, where we are right now is where we are. And that’s just fine.” Alec nods, but he can’t get rid of the aching feeling in his chest.

 

_July 21 st, 1991_

“You guys are the worst,” the boy sitting across from Magnus says. He unbuttons his shirt, nearly sweating through it.

“And why is that?” Magnus asks, wiping sweat from his brow. His hair is sticking to his forehead, stringy. The air conditioning had recently broken in the office building, making it hard for them to focus on their work.

“You’re just so… perfect together,” the boy continues. “I swear to God, you’re the only couple in San Francisco who isn’t open.”

Magnus laughs, going back to rolling his joint. He holds it up to the other boy, who lights it, before taking a hit. “Oh, we aren’t strangers to it,” Magnus responds. He eyes the boy, admiring how his shirt sticks to his skin. But then his eyes come to rest on the hairless chest and peach fuzz on his cheeks. “Wait, how old are you?”

Before the boy can answer, Alec comes in, the company cell phone in his hands. Everyone else was jealous that he got to leave what was practically a steam room to make calls. He spots Magnus, and raises his eyebrows, indicating he wanted his boyfriend to come with him. Magnus says his goodbyes to the boy, and gets up.

Magnus kisses his neck as he approaches him, catching the last part of the phone call. “Of course, I’ll see you then. Thank you so much, of course. Again, thank you,” Alec says, then hangs up. “I have a meeting with an investor tomorrow afternoon. He sounded really promising.”

“That’s amazing,” Magnus says, kissing Alec. “Does that mean we can finally get out of here? I’m dying.” Alec laughs, and nods. They wave to the others, before leaving. It had only been a few months since they both quit their jobs to move out of Portland and to California, but Alec was ten times happier. It was Magnus’s idea to approach a non-profit HIV phone line about getting hired, and the math skills Alec had retained from mathletes landed him a position in accounting. Magnus didn’t mind being upstaged by the other man, if it meant he got to see him happy.

Alec slips a strand of dark hair behind his ear, leaving it longer, inspired by the choppy haircuts he saw in magazines. He feels the back of Magnus’s hand against his own. It had been five years since they ran away, but it never got old.

“So, which investor is it this time?” Magnus asks.

“He owns that organic market by the park,” Alec says. “He’s straight, but a lot of his clientele are queer, so it sounds promising.”

“That’s good,” Magnus says. “You’re good at your job, Alexander. I feel like I’m dating a business man.” Alec blushes, and they start crossing the street, heading toward their apartment. It was in a run-down part of the city, given that their jobs at the non-profit barely paid. Magnus worked weekends in the jewelry section of a department store, which meant he barely saw Alec on those days.

“I just can’t believe it took me so long to find an investor with a conscience. People are willing to give hundreds to churches and school fundraisers but won’t do shit to put an end to the deadliest disease in America.” Magnus listens to Alec rant until they get to their apartment. As soon as the door is open, he prances to the phone plugged into the kitchen wall.

They had recently purchased an answering machine, and it made Magnus feel like an actual adult. Alec closes the door behind him, and collapses on the couch, his long legs hanging off the edge. He hears the beep of the machine, followed by a recording of Magnus’s voice. _“You’ve reached the line of Alexander and Magnus, we can’t talk right now, so speak!”_

 _“Magnus, this is Rachel at Zales, don’t forget you’re like, opening tomorrow morning!”_ Alec hears Magnus shuffling around the kitchen, getting out supplies to make dinner. _“Hey, this is Lorenzo, from that night last week, after the painting party? I can’t stop thinking about you two, give me a call back.”_ Alec scoffs and brings his hand up to cover his face, trying to hide the red of his cheeks. Magnus turns on the microwave, and Alec can smell the leftover soup they made together the day before.

There’s one last message on the machine, but it starts with just a shuffling sound, distant voices in the background. _“It’s over.”_ Alec hears a crash.

 

Under the table, Alec taps his foot, unable to curb the anxiety that sits deep in his chest. He tries to focus on what the investor is saying, but everything sounds too loud. The clinking of coffee cups rings in his ears, the voices pound against his skull. “So? What do you think?” The man says, smiling at Alec.

Alec glances down at the contract, skimming it. The numbers aren’t perfect, but they’re enough to keep everything running for a while. He’s quick to do the math in his head. “This is great,” Alec says, forcing a smile. He signs it, and slides the paper back to the man, then shakes his hand. But before he can get up to leave, the investor starts talking again.

“You know, I’ve donated to these types of causes before, but you were really the first person to catch my full attention,” he says, and Alec smiles.

“Well, it is my job,” Alec says.

“Yeah, but it felt like more to you,” the man says. “I mean, AIDS is obviously a crisis, and everyone is asking for donations. But with you, I could really feel your passion. You weren’t just raising money to save your conscience, to feel like you were doing something. You were raising money because you know these people. You really moved me.”

“Thank you,” Alec says. They shake hands once more, and both get up from the table. “You know; you should consider doing something bigger. You could really persuade some people to help the greater good.”  

 

_July 27 th, 1991_

It took Alec and Magnus four days to get back out to Portland, but by then Aline was already too far gone. When they got to the apartment, she was sitting on the floor by the couch, empty alcohol bottles littering the floor. After convincing her to take a shower, Magnus has to practically force feed her a sandwich, while Alec picked up the apartment.

Now, they sat in the back of the church, listening as a pastor talked about Helen. They were a few rows back in the pews, but just close enough to see her pale face, skinny, body ridden with purple sores. Her parents and siblings sobbed up front.

“And now, we pray for her mother and father, two beloved members of our community, along with her two brothers. We pray that God will help them with their grief. And also, some of her dear friends, Aline Penhallow…” Alec feels Aline’s body tense at the mention of her name. As soon as the service is over, she storms out, and Magnus and Alec are quick to follow her.

They find her in the church garden, kicking at the flower beds. “Aline, are you okay?” Magnus asks.

“No,” she snaps. “I’m not fucking okay.” She punts a rock, and it flies across the grass, landing in a small fountain with a splash. Alec can see her visibly shaking. “I can’t believe they listed me as a friend,” she continues. “Helen and I were together for almost ten years. I just lost the love of my life, and they called me her friend.” She starts crying, and Magnus pulls her into his arms.

Alec wraps his arm around her and Magnus both, feeling his heart sink. “It’s not your fault,” he says. Magnus rests his cheek on Alec’s shoulder, caressing Aline’s back.

“I know, but she deserved more than this,” Aline says. “The last few days in the hospital, when it was all ending, they didn’t even let me see her. Since I wasn’t her wife by law. I had to sit in the waiting room and wait for her brother to come out and tell me she was gone.” She sobs into Alec’s chest.

As the three stand alone in the courtyard, Alec looks over at the church, then back at his friend. He feels Magnus’s hand hold his own, reassuring him. He looks back over to the small fountain, the water still rippling from the stone Aline kicked.

 

_June 18 th, 1991_

Magnus dances around the apartment, in nothing but his underwear, blasting the radio. _“They say in heaven, love comes first,”_ he sings along as he folds more laundry, stacking it on the couch. _“We’ll make heaven a place on Earth.”_ His musical stylings are interrupted by Alec bursting through the door, the mail in his hands.

“Alec?” Magnus starts, but he’s interrupted by the other man grabbing his cheeks and pulling him in for a sloppy kiss. He feels Alec’s weight push him down onto the couch. Then he kisses Magnus’s cheek, followed by his neck, then collar bones. “Hey, I just folded these,” Magnus protests.

Alec pulls away, smiling. He holds up an envelope, already torn open. “I didn’t think it would happen,” Alec says. “I thought I had gone too long without school, but my high school report cards got faxed, and then I did the essay and phone interview, and…” Magnus opens the envelope, reading the letter, then screams and grabs the back of Alec’s head, pulling him in for another kiss.

They roll around, pushing the freshly folded clothes off the couch. Alec shrugs out of his jacket and throws it on the floor, followed by his shirt, as he trails kisses down Magnus’s neck, then chest. “So, Colombia?” Magnus says, “I can officially say my partner is an, I…” his voice raises an octave in pitch as Alec pulls down his underwear. “Ivy League student.” Alec nods enthusiastically, and Magnus feels his lips against his hip bone.

“That’s right,” Alec says. He pauses for a moment, looking up at Magnus through his messy hair. “And that means, we’re going back to New York.”


	2. Chapter 2

_January 23 rd, 1992 _

Alec sighs, balancing his weight as the subway moves on to the next stop. Everyone around him leans into each other, and he feels a woman’s back against his own. It wasn’t ideal, especially at rush hour, but he had grown used to commuting to classes. As the subway reaches another stop, a person next to him loses balance, sending their soda flying forward. It hits Alec’s chest, the brown liquid staining his windbreaker. The person apologizes, but Alec shrugs it off.

As they reach his stop, Alec pushes people out of the way, stepping out into the cold New York air. He had missed the busy sounds of the city when they were on the road. Magnus made fun of him for it, but he was positive the pizza anywhere but New York was garbage. Alec continues down the sidewalk, toward he and Magnus’s apartment. As he comes to a crosswalk, he looks around, eyes resting on a woman with long dark hair. He watches her, waiting for her to turn around. Once she does, Alec feels his heart race, but is only met with disappointment as he realizes it isn’t his sister.

Once he walks in the door to the apartment, his eyes fall on Magnus, who’s laying on the floor in front of the T.V. There’s a bong next to him, having clearly just been used. “So, how was class?” Magnus asks, although his eyes remain on the soap opera playing on the screen.

“It was fine,” Alec responds. He places his bag down, and sits on the couch behind Magnus. “It’s weird being so much older than everyone.”

Magnus shrugs and leans back into Alec’s legs. “Well, it’s better to go now than never go at all,” he says. “Besides, you just have to get through tomorrow, and then we can go clubbing with Catarina.” Alec smiles, and pulls Magnus up onto the cushions. He kisses the back of the other boy’s neck, but Magnus pulls away. “I can’t stay; I have the night shift tonight.”

Alec watches as Magnus pulls on his shoes. “You know I don’t like it when you’re out all night.”

“Well, we need the extra money,” Magnus says. Alec stares at him with narrowed eyebrows. “Alexander, it will be fine. I’ll be there with all of the patients, nurses, and doctors.” He kisses Alec’s forehead, and leaves the apartment.

 

Magnus slides a clipboard full of paperwork forward to the distressed husband of a pregnant woman. Her screams can still be heard down the hallway. “When you’re done with these, then we’ll show you to her room,” Magnus says, fighting back a yawn. The man nods, then walks away from the counter. Magnus looks around, checking the clock. _2:31 a.m._ “I’m taking a smoke break,” he says to his coworker. She just nods, not bothering to look up as Magnus disappears from behind the desk.

Outside, he digs around in his jacket, searching for his pack of cigarettes. When he can’t find it, he curses to himself and looks around. After a moment, he sighs and crosses the street, heading toward the 24-hour gas station. The attendant doesn’t look up from his magazine, and Magnus quietly walks up and down the aisles. He picks up a bag of fruit snacks and an energy drink, before going to the register. After pointing out which pack he wanted, he makes his way back to the hospital.

As he walks into the lobby, he sees a doctor talking to a young couple, the woman crying. Magnus sighs. He checks the clock, he still had a few minutes before he had to go back. Instead, he turns right down another hallway he seldom explored.  It’s dim, plain, and his eyes land on a bulletin board. As he scans multiple flyers and posters, one catches his eye. _Have you lost someone from HIV?_ Magnus’s mind wanders to the multitude of people he and Alec had met since high school, including Helen. He quickly reads the group information, before going back to work.

 

Alec looks up from his textbook, watching as Magnus comes out of their bedroom, dressing a plain sweatshirt and track pants. “I thought you were going out with Catarina,” Alec says.

Magnus shrugs, and walks toward the other man. “I wasn’t really feeling it,” he says. He takes the baseball hat off of Alec’s head, and puts it on his own. “Besides, I wanted you to come with us.”

“You know I wanted to,” Alec says, feeling Magnus run his fingers through his hair. “I promise, once I’m done with this paper for my-“

“Alec, it’s fine,” Magnus says. He kisses Alec’s cheek. “I wouldn’t want you to sacrifice your grades for a party. We can go out to celebrate once you get an A.”

“If that even happens,” Alec says

Magnus gets back up. “Like I said, you should get a tutor if you need it.”

“But it’s embarrassing,” Alec argues. “I can’t be older than the person tutoring me.”

“Alec.”

After a moment, Alec groans, and nods. “You’re right,” he says. Magnus pats his shoulder, and heads toward the door. “Wait, where are you going?”

“Nowhere,” Magnus says, but Alec gives him a look he knows all too well. “Fine. There’s this… support group. It meets at the hospital biweekly. It’s for people who have, you know, um… known other people who were sick.”

“Okay,” Alec says, looking back to his book. “I’ll see you when you get home.”

“Don’t be mad.”

“Why would I be mad, Magnus? It sounds like it could really help you.”

“I don’t know,” Magnus responds. “I know you like to keep these things private, but we’ve only ever talked to each other about it. I thought it would be better for me to see what it’s like.”

“No, I think you should go. It’s your decision, I won’t pry.” Magnus smiles, and kisses Alec quickly before heading out the door.

 

A small group of people crowd the snack table when Magnus walks in, but he avoids it and takes a seat in a circle of chairs. He takes a deep breath, watching as other people start taking up the other seats.

“Okay,” a man in a dress shirt says, calling everyone’s attention. “Welcome, everyone. I see we have some new faces. We’ll get to you in just a moment,” his voice is monotone, and Magnus notices the way he avoids eye contact with the others. “Today marks six months since I lost my sister to HIV. Her birthday is next week, and my parents want to get together, but I don’t know if I can.” Magnus shifts in his seat, feeling unsure about what he was getting into. He had never talked about it with people besides Alec before.

A few more people talk, going in the order of the circle, and Magnus starts to feel numb. His heart pounds, as the order gets closer to him. The door opens, and he hears someone else walk in, muttering an apology. For a moment, he thinks it might be Alec, but then the person pulls up a chair into the circle, on the other side. He’s too nervous to look up from the floor, as the eyes of everyone settle on him.

“You’re a new face,” the man says. “We are a judgement free zone, feel free to mention as much as you’re comfortable with.”

“Thanks,” Magnus says, his voice quiet. “Um… I’m Magnus.” He hears a few people respond, and moves on. “It’s been about seven months since one of my closest friends died from complications with…” he trails off. “But over the years, I don’t even know how many people I’ve let into my life that are gone. I would spend a week in one place, bonding with people who were sick… and I don’t know how it ends. I feel guilty, for just… leaving most of the time.”

“It’s not your job to stay with every single sick person,” a woman says from across the circle. “We can’t feel obligated for moving on with our lives. It’s not wrong, to want to live.” Magnus nods, and smiles at the group.

As they move on, he finds himself listening for intently. The man who came in late, in a heavy jacket and hat, waves to everyone. He unzips the front of his jacket, revealing the bottom of his face. “Hey guys, sorry I was late.” As he talks, there’s something familiar about him, but Magnus can’t quite put a finger on it. “It’s been a year and a half since I lost my girlfriend,” he continues. His story is sad, but the way the others respond to it, like they know a lot about him, gives Magnus the impression that he was a regular.

“Okay everyone,” the man at the top of the circle says once everyone has talked. “We’ll meet again in two weeks. Feel free to stick around for a few minutes, but we do have to be out before the top of the hour.”

Magnus slowly makes his way toward the late man, finding him gathering his stuff by his chair. As he turns, Magnus finally recognizes him. His eyes widen in shock. “Simon?”

 

Alec’s nearly asleep on the couch when he hears voices outside the door. He recognizes Magnus immediately, but is taken aback when the door opens, revealing another man with him. When they walk in, Alec feels his jaw drop. “Simon?” He says, and all of a sudden he’s the scrawny, teenage boy who used to pull all-nighters watching Star Trek and practicing for mathletes.

He takes in the looks of his old best friend, noticing how much broader his shoulders are, taller. His hair is longer, revealing curls that were too short to notice before. Instead of his wired framed glasses with the bar on the top, he’s wearing thick, black frames that sit on his sharp cheekbones. He’s skinnier, paler. But he still has the same smile.

As soon as Alec’s off the couch, he’s embraced, tightly. “I didn’t think I would ever see you again,” Simon says, pulling away. Magnus runs to the kitchen, getting out a box of tea bags. “I mean, the morning of graduation, I… I thought everything was going to be normal, and then I find out I’m giving the valedictorian speech,” he laughs. “You should have seen it; it was so embarrassing. I couldn’t stop stuttering, and…” he trails off, and Alec can see the red of his cheeks.

“Sorry about that,” Alec says. He gestures for Simon to take a seat on the couch, and sits next to him. “I… We,” he nods to Magnus. “Couldn’t live in Brooklyn anymore. It’s hard to explain, I know. But…”

“No, I get it,” Simon says. He sighs, and leans into the cushions. “I mean; I know what senior year was like for you.”

Magnus comes back with three mugs of tea. “So,” Alec continues, taking one. “How did you guys run into each other?”

“The support group,” Magnus says, and he and Alec give each other a knowing look. “I insisted that Simon came to catch up.”

“Yeah… I was in a really bad place after I lost my girlfriend. Senior year of college,” Simon explains. “So after I found the group, they helped me come to terms with it.” Alec looks horrified for a moment. “She’s not, it… I’m not talking about Maia. We broke up three years ago, after sophomore year of college.” Alec and Magnus sigh with relief.

“I’m sorry about your girlfriend,” Magnus says, sitting down and resting his head on Alec’s shoulder.

“It’s fine,” Simon says. “I’ve been processing it well. I’m moving on.” He stares down into the mug of tea, before taking a long sip. “So… Where have you been all this time? After you both didn’t show up for graduation, everyone sort of figured it out… well, that you were a couple. There were rumors that you ran away to Paris together, or that you were living on the streets. Ms. Lightwood put up missing person’s posters, but the police wouldn’t take the report. Since you were eighteen.”

Alec flinches at the mention of his mother. Magnus feels the tension, and responds instead. “Well, we drove across the country for a while. We bounced between Nevada and California, then after a stop in Arizona we moved up to Oregon. We were there for a year before we stayed in California again, and then Alec got accepted to Colombia and we came back here.”

Simon pauses for a moment, taking it all in. “Wow, Colombia? It’s good to hear you’re still an academic. I can’t believe you travelled so much. I haven’t left the city since I was ten. You have to tell me more.”

The three men spend the rest of the night talking about Magnus and Alec’s travels, never mentioning Maryse or anyone else again in the conversation. As he’s leaving, Simon writes down his address, and invites them over for dinner the next weekend. After he leaves, Alec and Magnus go to bed, but Alec can’t help but lay there and wonder what they missed over the years.

 

_February 3 rd, 1992_

“Are you high right now?” Magnus asks, looking as he and Alec’s reflection in the bus mirror. It was the night of their dinner with Simon, and they didn’t have a car.

“Maybe,” Alec says, fixing his hair in the mirror. He asked Magnus to trim it before they left, but he left the top long.

“I don’t understand why you’re so nervous,” Magnus says. “It’s just Simon, and we saw him last week.”

“I know,” Alec says. He reaches into Magnus’s bag and pulls out a small tube of eye drops. He leans back, squeezing a drop of the solution into one eye. “I’m just scared he’s going to judge me. He probably thinks I’m an idiot for skipping out on Stanford. Who knows what he thinks now knowing I lived in a van.”

“Okay, first of all, I was also in that van with you,” Magnus says. Before Alec can continue, he interrupts him. “Second of all, this is Simon. You were best friends for years. He accepted you then, he accepts you now. If he didn’t want to have you around he wouldn’t have invited us tonight.”

“I guess you’re right,” Alec says. “But maybe we shouldn’t disclose anything about our sex life.”

Magnus laughs. “I don’t think that’s going to be an issue, Alexander.”

 

Simon lives in an apartment above a barber shop, on the top floor. Magnus and Alec are out of breath by the time they knock on the door. Simon answers it almost immediately, looking more cleaned up than he did the week before. “Hey guys,” he says. “Come on in.” The apartment is mostly bare, aside from a few _Star Wars_ posters that Alec recognizes from Simon’s bedroom.

“I can’t believe you kept these,” Alec says. Simon shrugs, and they move into the kitchen. The smell of tomato sauce fills the room, and Alec calms down.

Just as Simon opens his mouth to respond, another voice is heard from the hallway. Simon’s eyes widen, and he runs to the door, just as it opens. “It’s so fucking cold outside, dude, my nipples are gonna freeze off,” Alec recognizes the voice immediately.

Jace stands in the doorway, freezing in place as he sees Alec and Magnus. He’s in an over-sized brown jacket and dark blue jumpsuit, much different from the boy Alec knew in high school, who only wore fitted and ripped clothes. His hair is shorter, sticking out in odd places. The sides stick to his face, held down by large, wire framed glasses. He has a heavy five o’clock shadow, and a black grease stain on his cheekbone. “Alec?” He stutters. “No fucking way.”

“Sorry, I was gonna tell you but I didn’t think you would be here, and…” Simon starts, but Jace shrugs it off and walks up to hug Alec.

Taken aback, because the Jace that Alec knew years ago would never be seen hugging another man, Alec pulls away. “You wear glasses now?” He asks.

“Oh, kind of, for work,” Jace says. He takes them off and places them on the table. He eyes Alec up and down, then moves on to Magnus. “You look different, man. Like, more put together.”

“Oh, thanks,” Alec says. He watches as Jace digs through his pockets, pulling out his wallet, a half-empty packet of M&Ms, and a folded check. Alec and Magnus watch as Simon rushes and grabs it off the table.

“Well, I smell like diesel, so I’m gonna shower really quick, and then, uh...” Jace scratches the back of his head scrunching up his face. Alec feels Magnus lean against him. At first, Alec is scared that Jace will say something negative, but he doesn’t seem to notice. “It smells good in here, so I’ll be back out for dinner.”

After Jace is gone down the hallway, Simon invites Alec and Magnus to sit down. “Sorry, I didn’t think he was going to be home. He moved in a few months ago, after Clary kicked him out. I wasn’t sure if you were ready to see him, or…”

“Simon, it’s fine,” Alec says. He smiles to himself, reminded of how Simon always seemed to get panicked over small things, just like he always was. Despite going through so many changes, it was reassuring to know that it was possible they hadn’t changed as much as he thought.

Alec listens as Magnus and Simon make small talk. Magnus talks about a party he and Alec went to years before, when someone caught on fire and Alec ended up having to put them out. Simon listens intently, fascinated with anything other than New York. Eventually Jace joins them, and the four men talk for another hour, until Simon pulls out a cheesecake from a local bakery.

Alec moans as he takes a bite, making Magnus laugh. “It didn’t matter where we were,” Magnus says. “Alec was always complaining about the food. The first night we got back, we stayed in a motel, and he ordered an 18-inch deep dish pizza. The whole thing was gone by the time I woke up.” Everyone laughs.

Before they leave, Alec and Magnus hug Simon, and runs to the other room to get a notepad for their phone number. Alec thinks back to all the times in high school when Jace would tell him not to listen to certain music, or wear certain clothing, because it wasn’t “cool.” But now that he was older, and had time to discover himself, he realized that “cool” was just code for “gay.”

“You know, on the weekends I deliver pizza for some extra cash,” Jace says. “If you want, you could come with me sometime. Free pizza, and you get to see the city.”

Alec is hesitant at first, but he feels Magnus nudge him. “Yeah, sure. As long as I don’t have too much homework.”

 

_April 21 st, 1992  _

After attending a few group meetings, Magnus finally was starting to feel at ease with talking about his problems. He knew he was a long shot from being okay, but if he got himself to a good place, then eventually, he could help Alec. He wasn’t ready to talk to a professional, but he did have Catarina.

“You know, I respect that he’s an academic, and that he has so many goals, but we’ve barely seen each other recently. He can pretend that he’s just studying because he has to, but I know the real reason.”

“And what is that?” Catarina says, taking a sip of her coffee. Around them, the people of New York go about their lives. Crowded sidewalks, cars honking, business men running with their brief cases. Magnus loved the freedom of life on the road, but he did miss his hometown. And having Catarina around felt natural, despite their only contact before being through payphone.

“I mean, Alec has always been into school, but now it’s all he does. He barely even kisses me goodnight anymore,” Magnus complains.

Catarina laughs. “You can live until the end of the semester.”

“I don’t know if I can,” Magnus says. “I’m dying of human touch deprivation.” Catarina rolls her eyes and takes a piece of Magnus’s scone.

“You know,” she says, voice muffled by the food. “I have Isabelle’s phone number. Maybe it’s about time you brought them back together. How long has it even been since they spoke to each other?”

Magnus thinks to himself for a moment. “Almost six years,” Catarina cringes at the number. “But I’m not sure if that’s my place. I know Alec thinks about his family a lot, but…”

“You’re scared,” Catarina finishes. Magnus raises an eyebrow at her. “You’re scared that if he gets a glimpse at his old life, he’ll regret what he’s built with you.” Magnus scoffs and shakes his head, but Catarina continues. “Magnus, you’ve gone through a lot of heartbreak in your life. Now that you finally have something good, you’re just expecting it to fall apart.” She writes a phone number on a napkin, and slides it across the table.

 

_September 18 th, 1992 _

Simon walks into the apartment, exhausted from his day at the accounting firm. His eyes fall on Jace, who’s laying on the couch with a bottle in hand. “I take it this afternoon didn’t go well?” Simon asks.

Jace takes another gulp of his beer. “It’s not even Clary,” Jace says. “It’s her dad. The guy doesn’t want me to have anything to do with Celine. She just started first grade and I didn’t even know. It’s ridiculous.”

“I don’t know man,” Simon says. “You should talk to Alec, maybe he can figure out something for you. You know, legally.” Jace shrugs, watching Simon checks his watch. He feels worry build in his chest, as Simon makes his way to the kitchen. He opens a cabinet and pulls out a bottle.

With a sigh, Jace watches as Simon takes his dose of AZT. “I’m so sick of this, man,” Jace says. “I’m sick of lying to everyone.”

“Yeah, me too.”

 

_November 11 th, 1992_

Alec walks into the kitchen, with just a towel around his waist, hair wet. Magnus hands him a cup of decaf, and kisses his collar bone. Alec tries to grab his hand, but Magnus pulls away. “What’s wrong?” Alec asks. “Did I do something?”

“No,” Magnus responds. He walks over to the counter, where the phone sits. “I… Look, Alec, I’ve been thinking about us, and I did something drastic.”

Alec frowns, watching as Magnus presses a button on the answering machine. Before he can say anything, the machine beeps, and a familiar voice is heard over a message. “Hey, uh… Alec? Or Magnus, or whoever gets this. I want to talk.”


	3. Chapter 3

_November 28 th, 1992_

“I can’t do this,” Alec says. “I don’t know why I agreed to do this. I can’t do this, Magnus. I want to go home.”

Magnus grabs Alec’s hand and squeezes it between his. “Alexander, this is a good idea. You can’t hide from your family forever.”

Alec sighs, still not moving from the car. “I know, but… Magnus, I’m scared. What if… What if Mom doesn’t want to see me? Or Izzy doesn’t-“

“It’ll be fine,” Magnus interrupts. “Besides, someone already opened the door.”

“What?” Alec says. He looks around Magnus, out the window. A tall figure stands on the porch, looking out at the car. After a moment, Alec watches as the tall boy turns around and goes back into the house, slamming the door. Alec feels his chest start to pound, and his stomach drops. “It’s Max.”

 

After a tearful greeting from his mother, Alec finds himself helping his sister set the table, while Magnus helps Maryse wash the pans. It’s silent, and although Alec remembers the dining room well from the first eighteen years of his life, he feels out of place. Isabelle looks different, more composed. Instead of the colorful, bright clothing Alec remembers her wearing, she’s in a simple, black dress. Her hair falls straight down, covering the sides of her face, as opposed to how she used to wear it up.

As they finish placing down the silverware, Alec looks up at her. “Izzy, I…” He starts, but can’t find the words. He hadn’t spoken to her since she confronted him about Raphael. Taking a deep breath, Alec calms himself down. “I want to get to know you. I miss you.” Isabelle looks at him, her eyebrows narrowed. “Maybe not today, but… but… tomorrow. Or next week. Whenever you’re ready.”

Isabelle sighs, and walks into the living room. Alec follows, coming to stand next to her, looking out the window as another car pulls up. “I’m sorry,” Isabelle says. “I’m sorry that I blamed you for Raphael. I was hurt, because I missed him, and I was scared for him. But if he hadn’t gone out and found you…” she takes a deep breath. “I try not to think about it.”

The two siblings watch as Clary steps out of the car, going around to the back seat and opening it. A young girl steps out, bundled up in a heavy jacket. They hold hands, approaching the house. Alec hears footsteps behind them, and turns around, seeing Max at the bottom of the stairs. He’s even taller than Alec, looking more like their father than Alec remembered. His baby fat is long gone, replaced with a strong jawline. Alec can even see the stubble on his chin, indicating how much Alec had missed.

Alec wants to reach out to him, hug him, but he knows that he isn’t ready yet. “Hey,” Max says, looking at Alec with those same pleading eyes he did as a kid. “It’s good to see you, I guess.” Alec nods, feeling Isabelle tense next to him. “I stopped telling people I had a brother.” He walks away, not letting Alec respond.

 

There isn’t much conversation as the group eat dinner, mostly just small talk. Alec listens to Max’s graduation plans. Clary talks about Celine’s kindergarten class. Maryse talks about the church group she leads. It’s not until the pie is served that anyone really talks to Alec.

“So,” Clary says. “How was the travelling?”

“It was fine,” Alec responds, feeling Magnus’s hand rest on his knee. “You know, working odd end jobs here and there. Motels. But we had our moments.” He tells a story about a night they spent in Seattle, leaving out the parts with Aline and Helen.

“So it’s true then?” Max asks, his mouth full of ice cream. He gestures to Magnus and Alec with his spoon. “That you ditched us to be gay.”

“Maxwell,” Maryse snaps. “Please, not at the dinner table.”

“What?” Max responds. He looks back to Alec. “They tried to hide it from me, you know. Like I was too young and stupid to figure it out. I spent the first two years of high school getting asked about my mysterious gay brother.”

“Max, stop,” Isabelle cuts in. She gives her little brother a death glare.

“It’s fine,” Alec says. He grabs Magnus’s hand and squeezes it. “You deserve the truth,” he looks at Max. “Magnus and I have been dating for six years. I’m… gay.” The table is quiet for a minute.

“Okay,” Max responds, giving Alec a small smile.

 

_July 21 st, 1993 _

Magnus paces around the gymnasium, ignoring the people around him stretching and practicing moves. He takes deep breaths, flinching as he hears the number pinned to his shirt. Taking one last glance at the audience, looking for Alec, he gets to the center of the gym. He frowns, realizing the other man isn’t there.

He recognizes the song as it blasts from the speakers, the familiar beat reminding him to dance. He sways to the beat, making sure to show the judges how graceful he could pull it off. With Catarina, he had practiced endlessly, preparing which moves he was going to pull off.

Just like he had practiced, Magnus throws his body sliding on his knees across the slick floor. He hears people in the audience react, as he pulls himself back up, jumping into a split. The judges watch him, as he manages to dance backward, forcing his body weight back into a backflip. By the end of the song, he’s exhausted, but if it meant getting out of his boring, overnight receptionist job at the hospital, it was worth it.

 

_December 21 st, 1994_

“Oh, Alec, look,” Maryse exclaims, grabbing her sons arm and pointing at the T.V. “Magnus has a solo.”

Alec looks up from his textbook, catching the screen just as Magnus does a cartwheel, into a spin. He smiles to himself, watching until the logo comes back on the screen. _NYTV Christmas Special!_ Maryse claps, but all Alec can think of is his nights spent alone in the apartment, the dance show on in the background as he read through his textbooks.

“Oh, I love that song,” Maryse says, singing along to it. _“The very next day, you gave it away,”_ She gets up, collecting an empty bowl of popcorn from the coffee table. Alec sighs, and goes back to reading his book, only to be interrupted again by a harsh knock on the door.

He gets up, after slamming the book on the coffee table. “Sorry,” he says to his mother, who’s staring at him from the kitchen. Despite having her back in his life for over a year, he was still frightened of her judgement, especially when she visited him at the apartment. There was a lot he never told her, especially about the nights he and Magnus spent on the road.

There’s another knock, louder this time, and Alec heads over to the door. As he opens it, Jace forces himself inside, carrying a little girl in his arms. Simon comes in after him, apologizing profusely. “Oh, come on, your mom’s here?” Jace says. Maryse crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, oh, Ms. Lightwood, you’re here. Good to see you.”

“Daddy, why are we-“

“It’s fine, Celine,” Jace interrupts his daughter, smiling at her and kissing her forehead. “We’re visiting uncle Alec. You know him, his, uh… friend dances on that show you like. The one with the purple hair.” Celine smiles, and Simon steps forward.

“How about Ms. Lightwood and I take her to the other room, and we can listen to the record player,” he says. Jace nods, watching as Simon helps her up and they disappear into another room, leaving Jace and Alec alone.

“What the hell,” Alec says, keeping his voice low. “Why did you bring a six-year-old down here at eleven o’clock? You know how dangerous the city can be at night.”

Jace rolls his eyes. “You think I don’t know that?” He says. “That’s why I brought Simon with me.” He runs his hands through his hair, reminding Alec of how he used to get stressed during their study sessions senior year of high school. “I fucked up. Big time. I need legal advice.”

Alec gestures to the couch, watching as Jace sits down in front of him. “I’m not a lawyer yet.”

“I know, but I didn’t know what else to do,” Jace’s voice is quivering, close to tears. “I… I’m supposed to have weekly visits, and every other weekend with Celine, but in the past few months I’ve been too busy. I have three jobs… so I stopped visiting. Before today, I hadn’t seen Celine in three months. So I went to the house, and picked her up, so I could have her for Christmas. I left a voice mail, but I know her dad is gonna be on my ass. What if they called the cops? I don’t know what to do.”

“I mean, you essentially kidnapped her,” Alec says.

“She’s my daughter!”

“I know, Jace, but… fuck,” Alec says. “Look, at the very least you breached a contract. That’s a crime, well, more of a misdemeanor. Right now, all we can do is call Clary, and her dad, and tell her where exactly you are so they can pick her up. You need to do whatever they ask, so they won’t press charges.”

“Charges?” Jace repeats. He covers his face with his hands. “Oh, Jesus… You know, this isn’t how I pictured my twenties to go,” he continues. “Can I use your phone?”

 

Once Clary and her father arrive, Celine is asleep in Alec and Magnus’s bed. Valentine immediately starts yelling, pushing his way in. He pushes Jace back into the wall. “What the hell were you thinking, you fucking psychopath? Taking my granddaughter to this dirty part of town? You’re lucky nothing happened to her.”

“Dad, stop it,” Clary pleads. She grabs her father’s shoulder, pulling him back. “Let me handle it, she’s my daughter.” Clary walks up to Jace, and slaps him.

Maryse looks over at her son, eyes wide, but Alec just shrugs. “You fucking idiot,” Clary continues. “I thought she was gone,” she yells. “You can’t just show up after months, and take her from me.”

Jace rubs his cheek, and backs up. “I know. I’m sorry, Clary, but you have to cut me some slack, I mean, I never get to see her.”

“You never try,” Clary snaps. “Do you know how many times Celine has asked me where you were? Or how many times I’ve had to explain to the other parents at the school that it’s just me?”

“Do you think I want it to be that way, Clary?” Jace responds. He starts pacing the room. “I bust my ass, to pay for everything, because I care. That’s why I missed all those times, it was all for you and Celine.”

“How was it for me?” Clary asks. She looks around, noticing how everyone else was staring at her. She takes a deep breath, and looks back up at Jace. “You know, we wouldn’t be here if you hadn’t been such a douche bag.”

“I was nineteen, working two jobs, with a baby at home. I’m sorry, about the alcohol, and the other girls. I don’t know how many times I can apologize to you.” Jace stops pacing. “I… I want to be a family, Clary. I want a house, upstate, away from all the garbage of this city. Better schools for Celine. That’s why I’ve been working so much.”

“None of that matters,” Clary’s father cuts in. “You aren’t _fit_ to be a father, and I think that’s been made abundantly clear, considering you kidnapped your own-“

“Dad, shut up!” Clary yells. Her father’s eyes go wide, a mix of both rage, and surprise. “This is my decision, okay? And…” she turns back to Jace. “I agree with you. Celine wants you in her life, and I just want to be a normal family. I’m tired of living broken up. I want you back in our lives.”

Alec looks over at Simon, who shrugs. Jace stares at Clary for a moment, and the atmosphere in the room becomes lighter. Clary’s father crosses his arms, watching as Jace falls onto one knee. “Clary, I… I mean, would you… marry me?” He grabs her hand, and she looks down at him, mouth agape. “I know this is sudden, and we’ve been off and on, but it feels right to me, right now.”

Clary smiles, and nods. “It does to me, too,” she says, and Jace stands up and scoops her into his arms. Simon is the only one to clap, but Maryse and Alec smile at the couple.

As Clary grabs the back of Jace’s head, and pulls him into a kiss, her father rolls his eyes, and squeezes the bridge of his nose. “I can’t believe this is happening.”

 

_June 13 th, 1995_

“I thought things were going to be different,” Magnus says, watching as Alec pours half-and-half into his cup of coffee. “I waited for you, while you were getting your degree. I understood that finishing it was going to take a lot of work, and now that you have it, I thought things were going to go back to the way they were.”

Alec looks at the other man, trying to ignore the dull pain forming in his temples. Every time he and Magnus got into an argument, he got a headache. And it had been happening more than ever before, since Magnus made the cut for the NYTV dance show. But now that Alec was preparing to start law school, it was even worse. He doesn’t remember the last time they even so much as sat together on the couch, much less showed affection toward one another. “What do you mean the way they were?” Alec asks, his voice rough from working all night.

“We used to be so… into… each other,” Magnus says. “In case you don’t remember what it felt like when I touched your-“ he’s interrupted by Alec coughing into his mug. With a sigh, Magnus continues. “Before we moved back here, we had sex almost every night. You wanted to make the time for our relationship, now all you do is work.”

“Magnus, you know how rigorous studying law is,” Alec says. “You have no idea, how hard it was getting my bachelor’s in 3 years instead of 4. Most of my professors told me it was impossible, so I had to put in the work.”

“I know, Alexander,” Magnus snaps. “School is important to you. It always was. That’s why I waited for you. I thought we were going to fall in love again this summer, but all you do is work.”

Alec chugs the rest of his coffee, before slamming the mug onto the table. “What do you mean fall in love again?” He asks. “When did we fall out of it?”

“That’s not what I meant,” Magnus responds. “You know what I mean. We barely see each other anymore, and when we are together, we don’t talk for hours. It certainly doesn’t feel like this is a relationship. It feels like I’m your roommate.”

“Isn’t that what everyone thinks anyway?” Alec asks, snickering to himself. “I used to tell my classmates I lived alone. Our landlord thinks we’re just two bachelors.” Magnus rolls his eyes, watching as Alec gets up from the table. “I know about you.”

Magnus raises an eyebrow, following Alec’s figure toward the back of the couch. He leans his body weight on it, and looks away. “What are you talking about?”

“I know about the others,” Alec says, his voice getting quieter. “It wasn’t hard to figure out. I know I wasn’t the one leaving hickeys on the back of your neck after my week long study sessions. You really gave it away when you let that guy with the tribal tattoos sleepover when I pulled that all-nighter at Simon’s place. I walked in as he was helping himself to my leftover pizza.”

“Alec, we have people over all the time, you know it didn’t mean anything,” Magnus says, although he feels the guilt start to build in his chest. He told himself it would only happen once, that it wasn’t a big deal, it was only because he was lonely.

“We haven’t had a person over in three years,” Alec says. “And when we did, we had rules. It was always both of us. No matter what, our relationship came first.”

Magnus looks at him for a moment, noticing how watery the other boy’s eyes were. It had been so long since he had genuinely looked at him, that he hadn’t noticed the dark circles under his eyes, or the frown line’s forming around his mouth. He remembers how when they first met, Alec was just a lost, young boy, doing whatever other people told him to do. He wanted to conform, but now here he was, getting an education to fight against how he was raised.

“I know,” Magnus responds. “I… I don’t know what happened. I was alone all the time, and I missed you, and…”

“I don’t want to hear it,” Alec says. “Magnus, I…” he looks down. “If it’s going to be like this, then…” he’s interrupted by the phone ringing. Before he can continue, Magnus grabs it, before the first ring is even over. He plays with the chord, listening to the person on the other line. After a moment, he looks at Alec, and shakes his head.

 

_June 15 th, 1995_

Alec looks over at Magnus, watching him as he flips through the T.V. channels, skipping over a rerun of himself dancing on NYTV. In between them, Simon lies on a hospital bed, attached to a slew of machines monitoring his heartrate. He stirs in his sleep, and for a second, Alec almost calls for the nurse, but settles back down as Simon lies still.

Jace walks in, not saying anything as he takes the last open chair. The three men sit in silence for a few minutes, until Magnus speaks up. “Did you know?” He asks, and Jace shrugs.

“It wasn’t my place to tell,” he says. “It’s been so long, I almost forgot about it,” he continues. “It wasn’t really something Simon liked to talk about. He took his AZT, he went to the doctor every few months, he managed it. But… you know how… unpredictable it is.”

“You can say it by name,” Alec says. “HIV.” He looks over at Magnus, who shakes his head and walks out of the room. Alec sighs, and leans back into his chair.

“Problems in paradise?” Jace asks.

“You’re one to talk,” Alec responds. “When’s the wedding?”

“Didn’t you get the invite?” Jace asks. When he doesn’t get a response, he continues. “November 10th. Clary likes the fall.” Alec nods, and they sit in silence for another few minutes while the T.V. drones in the background. “You know, I asked Simon to be my best man. No hard feelings or anything.”

Alec looks over at the other man, eyes gazing over his pale skin, the purple veins reminding Alec of everyone else he had seen succumb to the disease. “None taken. But Simon isn’t the first person I would think of you to pick.”

“Yeah well, after you left… things weren’t the same.” Jace says. “Everyone was throwing theories around, that there had been some horrible accident, you went on another drug excursion… that you and Magnus were secret lovers…” Alec snickers, and Jace rolls his eyes. “Simon and I both lost our best friend. It brought us together.” Jace stands up, stepping closer to the foot of the bed. He looks at Simon with a heavy gaze. “I was the first one he told when he tested positive. He was crying, scared… We got through it together. When his girlfriend died he didn’t leave the apartment for two months. I was the one who got him to start going to that support group.”

“It’s unfortunate what it took to bring us back together,” Alec says, and Jace nods. One of the doctors come in, and the two men leave the room to give her privacy.

Once they’re in the hallway, Alec hears a woman’s voice yell, and sees Simon’s mother running toward them. “I’ll handle them. You should go find Magnus.”

 

Magnus puts out his cigarette as he sees Alec walking up to him in the parking lot, sweaty from the summer heat. “I thought you were trying to quit those,” Alec says, gesturing to the newly purchased pack of cigarettes sitting on the sidewalk next to him.

“I was but, you know, the stress is getting to me,” Magnus says. Alec sits next to him, close enough that their knees touch. They sit together for a few minutes, watching people walk in and out of the building.

Alec inhales the smoke, feeling the urge himself, but he looks away. “Clary and Jace are getting married in the fall.”

“So I’ve heard,” Magnus responds. “I… I want to apologize, Alexander, I… It was only a few times. I felt so… I’m so used to being unwanted, I was just expecting you to leave me, like my mother. In a way, I wanted to give you an excuse to leave,” his voice cracks. “But this morning when we are fighting, I knew that I… Alexander, I don’t think I can be apart from you.”

Alec looks at the other man, and rests his hand on his shoulder, touching him endearingly for the first time in months. Magnus reaches up and places his hand over Alec’s, look back at him. “There’s only one hundred and nine days until Halloween,” Alec says. “October 31st, 1996.”

“The tenth anniversary of our first kiss,” Magnus says. He squeezes Alec’s hand.

“It’s almost been a decade and I’ve never stopped loving you,” Alec says, “Magnus… you’re the most beautiful thing about my life. There will ever be a time where I don’t want you here, with me. I love you.”

Magnus grabs the back of Alec’s neck and presses their foreheads together. “Alexander, I love you too, I-“

Alec kisses Magnus gingerly, inhaling in the scent of the other man. “Do you know why I wanted to go back to school so bad? It wasn’t because I’m a nerd,” Magnus chuckles under his breath, holding Alec’s hand. He thinks back to Simon, laying in the hospital bed floors above them. It reminds them of the phone call from Aline years before, that changed their lives forever. He takes a deep breath, “At Helen’s memorial, when the priest announced Aline as one of her friends, I…” Magnus feels his heart beating in his chest, in the years after, Alec had never once tried to talk about Aline and Helen.

“I couldn’t stand the thought of you being gone,” Alec continues, tears welling up in his eyes. “It made me sick, thinking that if something were to happen to you, I wouldn’t be allowed to see you in the hospital, because we weren’t a straight couple. Or if people were going to remember me as just one of your friends, and not…” his breathing is shaky. “So… I decided to become a lawyer, so I could fight for us, Magnus. So that we can be treated the same as they are.”

Magnus kisses Alec again, grabbing the front of his shirt. “I want to be with you forever,” he says. “I’ll do whatever it takes to make that happen, Alexander.”

 

_June 21 st, 1995_

“I’m gonna pull the car up, and then we’re going to have a long talk. And I mean a _long_ talk, Simon,” Simon’s mother says, pulling out her keys. “Your sister is already checking you out, so just wait for us, okay?” She kisses his cheek before heading down the hallway,

Simon forces his body to move forward, feeling weak from over a week of treatment. But as soon as the doctor permitted him to go home, he jumped on it. He hated hospitals. When he watched his girlfriend die in the hospital, he had sworn he wouldn’t go back.

“Simon?” A female’s voice calls from behind the man. He turns around, ignoring the pain in his back. At first, he doesn’t recognize her. Her hair is longer, almost at her mid-back, and her figure is hidden by an over-sized, bright colored cardigan. He didn’t remember her having glasses, but they didn’t hide how her eyes shined under the lights. “I… I heard you were sick, and I wanted to see you.”

“Maia?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks so much for reading! i really love it when people comment


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!

_February 15 th, 1999_

“Imagine living scared, alone, not knowing if there’s going to be food on your plate that night. The people you’re supposed to look up to, putting you aside, and for what?” Alec says, turning his head to the jury sitting to high right. “So they can make the decision to get high, instead of raising you. They could have made a choice. A choice, to get help. A choice, to contact another family member. But instead, they let their fear consume them. Similar to how they let your life, be consumed by fear.” He can feel the stares of the couple sitting at the defendants table in the back of his head. “All I ask you,” Alec gestures his hands out to the group of people, “Not just as citizens of New York, but as people of New York. People with dignity, with morality. To do the right thing. Put these people away. Save their children.”

He makes eye contact with every person in the jury, before turning around. The judge takes a recess as the jury deliberates, and Alec heads outside the courthouse. “Lightwood,” he hears his name from behind him, and turns around to see his boss walking down the stairs toward him. “Nice work in there with the closing statement.”

“Thanks,” Alec says, trying to ignore the wind chill on his nose. “I just hope they go for it. If I win this one, I’ll officially have a 70/30 win to lose ratio.”

“Not a lot of people can say that,” his boss says, reassuring patting Alec’s shoulder. “You know, you’re pretty good with these children’s cases. We really value you at the firm, but I wouldn’t mind talking to my friend who works in juvenile court. I’ve heard word that they may be hiring a new prosecutor in Manhattan.”

Alec looks at him for a moment. “That would be very different for me, but I’ll consider it.”

“It would be very prestigious, especially in your early thirties.”

“Well,” Alec responds, and he sees his assistant waving at him from the top of the steps. “You know what, it wouldn’t hurt to try. Thank you, Sir. “

As the jury representative stands to speak, Alec can’t stop thinking about a night he spent with Magnus years ago, as teenagers, where they talked about moving to Manhattan together. Back then, Magnus had wanted to go to drama school, and Alec was still on track to go to Stanford. He almost doesn’t hear the ruling.

“On two counts of child neglect, we have found the defendants guilty,” the juror says, and Alec feels pride build in his chest.

The judge looks down at his papers for a moment, before looking back up at the court. “I sentence both defendants, to five years in prison for each offense, and a ten thousand dollar fine.” He slams his gavel, and Alec thanks him before turning to gather his stuff.

“You ruined our lives!” One of the parents yelled from where she’s being escorted out of the room. “You broke my family apart!”

Alec looks up at her, not knowing what to say. He looks behind her, at the two crying children sitting behind them. As he watches them get pulled away, away from their parents, he feels a tightness in his chest.

 

_October 1 st, 2000_

“Higher, jump higher!” Magnus yells, watching his students follow their choreography to the tune of the music. “Come on, use your muscles!” He moves with them, imagining himself doing the moves. “You can’t slow down now, come on,” he counts with them, watching as the children all spin in unison, until the song ends, and they collapse to the floor.

Magnus paces the room, waiting for all of them to catch their breath. “Your solos all have moments but it won’t count unless the group choreo hits. You have the muscle; you have the power. You have to fight your mind telling you to stop.” The students all nod, before pulling themselves up, bodies weak. “I’ll you on Monday night, and I expect it to be better. Competition starts in two weeks.”

As he starts packing up his stuff, one of the students walks up to him sheepishly. “Mr. Bane, I, um…”

“You can call me Magnus. I might be old in the dancing world, but I’m not _that_ old yet,” he says to the kid, smiling at him. The boy smiles, and Magnus spots a blush forming on his cheeks. “So, can I help you with something?”

The boy shrugs, looking away. “I wanted your advice about something. Recently my dad and I have been arguing, and I don’t know how to tell him that I’m… Uh…”

Magnus looks at the boy, seeing how his demeanor shifts. He shrinks into himself, trying to take up less space. It reminds him of how Alec was when they first met. “Look,” Magnus interrupts, and he gestures to the door. They start walking out to the parking lot together. “You can’t let other people dictate who you are. I lived many years with a guard up, because I didn’t want people to see who I really was. It takes a lot of courage to be your true self.”

Another man starts walking toward them in the parking lot, his face red with anger. Magnus puts the situation together quickly. “Sorry,” the boy says. “I shouldn’t have asked anything, I-“

“Get away from my son,” the man says once he gets closer to Magnus. The boy shuffles over to his father, a scared look in his eye.

“I’m sorry, I don’t believe we’ve met,” Magnus says, holding out his hand. The man stares at it, but doesn’t shake. Hesitantly, Magnus pulls it away. “I’m Magnus Bane, I’m one of the directors here at the dance studio. I specialize in contemporary and jazz.”

“I know exactly who you are,” the man says, staring Magnus up and down. He was in his normal dance attire, tight leggings with leg warmers and one of Alec’s old shirts from when they were on the road so many years ago. This one in particular was Madonna, and Magnus suddenly regretted wearing it. “You’re the one pushing your alternative lifestyle on my son.”

Magnus raises his eyebrows. “Sorry?”

“You know what I mean. You’re a homo, and you’re making my son one too,” Magnus tries to talk, but the man just continues. “We’re Catholics. My son is one too. In our household, homosexuality is a sin, and I’m not gonna let you be the reason my son goes to hell.”

The man steps closer to Magnus, his angry face just inches away. “I’m sorry you feel that way. I can assure you, _my_ homosexuality isn’t going to make your son gay. If he’s gay, then he’s gay.”

“Rot in hell,” the man says, and Magnus opens his mouth to make a snarky comment, but not before he sees a fist colliding with his face.

 

“You have to let me in there,” Alec yells to the nurse at the desk, who stares at him with wide eyes. “I’m the closest thing he has to a family member; you can’t leave me out here.”

“I’m sorry Sir, but unless you’re a relative or a spouse, you can’t go back to see him,” the nurse says.

Alec looks around at the people staring at him in the waiting room, and sighs. He leans in toward the nurse, lowering his voice. “Please, we’ve been partners for almost fifteen years.”

“I sympathize with you, Sir, I really do, but unless you are a relative or a-“

“Let him in,” another voice says from behind the desk, and Alec looks up to see Catarina, clad in her nursing scrubs. “He’s with me.” Alec feels a wave of relief wash over him, and Catarina opens the door for him.

“Thank you,” Alec says, hugging her briefly. “Is he okay? I got a call from the ER saying there was blood, and someone hit him in a parking lot, and-“

“Relax, Alec,” Catarina says. The reach one of the rooms and she opens the door, revealing Magnus with an ice pack on his face. Alec stares at him for a moment, before rushing forward and taking the man into his arms.

He kisses Magnus’ forehead, holding his head between his hands. “That hurts, you know,” Magnus says, and Alec pulls away. “Alexander, it’s fine, I can handle one punch,” he grabs Alec’s hand, and Catarina winks before sliding out of the room and closing the door. “They just said my nose is bruised, but there isn’t even a concussion or anything.”

Alec sits down next to the other man, loosening the collar on his suit. “Magnus, this was my worst nightmare coming true, I… If Catarina wasn’t there, then I would have just been left in that waiting room wondering if you were okay. What if something worse had happened? What if you… and I…”

“Alexander, calm down,” Magnus says, and Alec stops, but his face is still in panic. “It was just one punch, and I’m fine. We can let it go and move on.”

“It’s not just one punch, Magnus,” Alec says, and he stands up again. “In Laramie two years ago, it started with one punch.” Magnus flinches at the mention of the Laramie case, his mind wondering back to when he and Alec had their T.V. on for six days straight, waiting for updates on the crime. He remembers when the boy died, he felt like he couldn’t move, and he and Alec cried the rest of the night. “It’s violence,” Alec says. He takes a deep breath, calming himself down. “I’m taking that son of a bitch to court.”

“Alec, please, it’s-“

“It’s a hate crime,” Alec says. “It’s against the law, so he needs to serve jail time. I’m going to get him on assault, on hate speech, on-“

“Alexander,” Magnus interrupts. He stands up, and kisses the other man on the cheek. “For now, I just want to go home and start packing, so we can get the hell out of Brooklyn.”

 

_November 15 th, 2000_

Alec knocks on the door of his boss’s office, checking himself out in his reflection to make sure he looked as professional as possible. Once he hears his voice, he opens the door, feeling doubt start to build in his head.

“Lightwood, it’s good to see you,” The man says, smiling from his desk. “Please, sit down,” Alec smiles, and does what he says. “So, what can I do for you?”

Alec shifts in his seat, taking a deep breath. “There’s a case I want to pursue, but I’m afraid that I may be too personally involved, so I wanted to ask you… Mr. Garroway… if you had the time, I mean… to help me. I’ll pay in full, and-“

“Don’t worry about it,” the man says. “I don’t normally say this, but you’ve been one of the best attorneys we’ve had around here in a while, so you can call me Luke. I was really impressed with how you handled the case last week. I didn’t think you could sway the judge in our favor, but you did.”

“Thank you, Sir…” Alec says, shifting in his seat. “Luke. Sorry, I… There was this man, I know, who recently got assaulted for his sexual orientation. I want to press charges on the perpetrator for assault and a hate crime, at least.”

“That sounds pretty cut-dry,” Luke says, crossing his arms. “Why can’t you bring it to court yourself?”

“Because, this man happens to be…” Alec takes a deep breath. He made a point to not disclose his sexuality at work, for fear of judgement. “My partner. I feel as though I have too much of a personal relationship to the victim to bring the case to trial myself. I would much rather be there for emotional support. I know this is… sort of personal. But it’s important to me, and it would mean a lot if you represented him in court.”

Luke looks at Alec for a moment, studying his mannerisms. It was one of his favorite things he had learned as a lawyer. He felt as though he could get to know a person just by how they carried themselves, without words. He knew Alexander Lightwood as a tough attorney who was always raw in court, told it like it was, yet moving enough to win over the jury in most of his cases. But at this moment, he reminded Luke of a young boy, waiting to be punished by a parent.

“I’ll do it. Pro-bono. I’m sorry something so traumatizing happened to your partner. You can trust me to handle it accordingly,” Luke says, holding out his hand. Alec stares at it for a moment, before shaking it firmly.

 

_December 3 rd, 2002_

“I’ve already apologized a million times,” Isabelle says, watching as her brother paces the kitchen of her apartment. “I knew that tricking you was the only way to get you to come.”

“Well, there’s a reason for that, Isabelle,” Alec says, feeling the tension build in his shoulders. He shrugs off his coat, revealing his disgruntled suit from work. “I haven’t spoken to the man since I was eighteen years old. He ruined my life.”

“I barely talk to him either,” Isabelle says. “But he asked me to put this together, so I did. It sounded important over the phone.”

Alec looks at her, his face scrunched up in anger. He peaks his head around to the living room, where Max naps on the couch, making sure he wasn’t listening. “In case you don’t remember,” Alec says. “It’s Dad’s fault that our childhood was so fucked up. He treated you like you were the best thing that ever happened to him, while I was just some little faggot who did nothing but disappoint him. Maybe if… if Dad had just accepted me… I wouldn’t have had to run away.”

“You didn’t have to run away, Alec,” Isabelle retaliates. She raises her voice, uncaring of their little brother in the other room. To be fair, he was a full functioning adult, no longer the younger, little boy his older siblings always thought him to be. “Dad wasn’t even in the house when you ran away. Mom was coming around to the idea of having a gay son. You could have gone to Stanford, like you were supposed to. And not left me for my last year of high school… for all of college. Mom fell apart after you left. I had to do everything for Max. I had to help Clary with Celine…”

“You hated me,” Alec yells back. “I know you hated me. It was my fault Raphael got arrested and put in jail. And you hated me for that. I couldn’t just go to Stanford like Dad always wanted me to, Isabelle. I had to be myself. With Magnus. And running was the only way I could start over.”

“I was mad at you,” Isabelle says. “I had a right to be mad about Raphael. But nothing was worse than not knowing what happened to you for years. Mom was convinced you were dead. Max always asked about you. _You_ ruined _my_ life!”

Before Alec can respond, the doorbell rings. “I need a drink,” he says, and Isabelle rolls her eyes and heads for the door.

“I have a better idea,” Max says from the doorway, having been woken up by his brother and sister.

 

Alec almost cries, it felt so good blowing smoke out from his mouth. Since he and Magnus quit smoking, he had missed the relaxation it brought him. Max watches his older brother take another hit of the joint, blowing it out into the New York air. He leans back into his chair, and takes the paper from Alec. “Damn, where did you get that? It’s strong.”

“A friend,” Max says, taking a hit. “And it’s not that strong, you’re just weak.” Alec laughs, looking down at the traffic below them.

“It’s been a while, but trust me… this isn’t the worst I’ve had,” Alec says. Max leans over to him, passing the joint back over.

“Really? But you’re so uptight, and… I don’t know… lawyerly,” Max says. He doesn’t remember the last time he had a genuine conversation with his older brother that wasn’t just forced small talk. If they ever had one. He was too young to understand what was happening when Alec ran away.

“I am now that I have to be,” Alec says. “But… I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but… back in my day… we partied.”

“Elaborate,” Max says. “I don’t believe you.”

“Okay,” Alec shifts in his seat. “New Year’s Eve, 1990. I was… twenty-two, and we were in San Francisco at this huge party. The guitarist from No Doubt was there.” Max shakes his head, but Alec nods. “I’m not lying. Magnus does this keg stand, for like, a whole minute, and he’s wasted. Well, one of the guys at the party was impressed with him, and he starts talking to us about his day job. He works for this company that does kids birthday parties.” As he goes into more details about the story, he and Max laugh more and more together. For once, things just felt normal between them.

Eventually, they start to hear Isabelle’s voice from inside. “So anyway,” Alec skips over the more sexual part of the story, opting out of telling his younger brother about his sex life. “When we come to the next morning, some crazy mother is screaming at us and spraying us with her garden hose. It’s kind of hazy, but I remember being naked, and there was clown makeup all over my chest. Her husband calls the police, and by the end of the day we were in Oregon.” Max laughs, grabbing Alec’s forearm. Before he can say anything, Isabelle opens the sliding door to the terrace, announcing it was time to eat.

 

Robert Lightwood looked at each of his children with a narrowed gaze, trying to guess everything he could about them just by their appearance. Max was still boyish, his facial hair not entirely grown in, despite him already being in his mid-twenties. He lost the baby fat Robert remembered, and his voice was an octave deeper. His hair was clean cut, unlike the shaggy locks he had as a child.

Isabelle looked more like Maryse than Robert remembered, the sharp lines of her face outlining the sharpness of her cheekbones and her piercing dark eyes. Her hair was shorter, fuller in volume, more adult. She carried herself with the same confidence she always had. Robert had expected her to find a husband in her younger twenties, but instead she talked about climbing the corporate latter at her wall street job. The size of her apartment was impressive, decorated in expensive paintings and sculptures. It was impressive.

But Alexander was who Robert was most interested to see. It had been sixteen years since he had seen his eldest son. He still wore his hair longer than Robert would like to see it, layered, sticking out in places. He was fit, the muscles of his body outlined by the tailored suit he adorned. But his face told Robert of the years that had gone by, frown lines build around his mouth, dark under-eye bags accompanying his once youthful glow. He knew what Alexander did for a living, having followed his career in the paper. Without Robert, Alexander had still been just as successful as he wanted him to be, if not more.

“I wanted to thank you all for meeting with me tonight,” Robert says, feeling the eyes of his three children looking at him. “I know how… surprising it must have been.” Alec scoffs, looking at Isabelle. “But there’s something I need to tell you all, and I wanted to do it in person.”

As they all sit at the table, Alec feels like he’s sixteen again, doing whatever his father said instead of being who he wanted to be. After not seeing him all these years, he still found himself wanting to impress him. How unfortunate.

“I brought these,” Robert says. He pulls out three envelopes with each of the siblings names on them. “I didn’t want to bother writing a will, so…”

“A will?” Isabelle asks, looking down at her envelope. “Dad are you…?”

“There’s a tumor in the right side of my brain. My wife and I are going to tour Europe until… it’s over. But I didn’t want to leave you with nothing.” Alec laughs, unable to stop himself. Robert looks at him with a puzzled look. “I knew you wouldn’t be happy to see me, Alexander, but… you could save your laughing for after I leave.”

“I’m sorry, _Dad,_ ” Alec says. He grabs the small glass of vodka in front of him and finishes it in one gulp. Isabelle groans. She thought he had more self-control. “I wasn’t laughing at your… impending death.”

“Alec, please,” Isabelle says.

“No, I want to hear what he has to say,” Robert says. “It seems he hasn’t changed since the last time I saw him. You’re still an ungrateful, little-“

“Ungrateful?” Alec says, hearing his own voice get louder. He knows it’s the marijuana making him so loose, but he can’t stop. “I lived on the streets for years, in a dirty fucking van. I worked shitty jobs, went days without eating. Went through withdrawal in a motel room.”

“That was all _your_ choice, Alexander,” Robert says. “No one asked you to run away from what you had here.”

“I only ran away because of you!” Alec responds, yelling now. Isabelle sighs and starts cleaning up the table. Max finishes his wine. “Do you remember when I was a teenager and we were in the shopping mall, and you told me that AIDS was going to kill all of the faggots and send them to hell, where they belonged?” Robert stares at his son, his mouth agape.

“Jesus Christ, Dad…” Max whispers, and Isabelle stops cleaning. She looks at her father with horror in her eyes.

Robert is speechless, watching his eldest son pace around the room, visibly shaking. Alec’s mind races over the dozens of faces he met throughout the years who he lost in hospital beds, halfway houses and hostels. He remembers making phone calls trying to get funds for people he didn’t even know, dedicating all of his time to fighting the disease. He remembers Helen.

“Well guess what, Dad?” Alec continues. “You’re going to die soon. You might go to Europe with your wife, but I’m not going to be there. I’m going to be here, successful, living in Manhattan with the love of my life, for a long time. And I did it all without you.” He grabs all of his stuff, including the check, and runs out the door.

 

Later that night, Alec gets into the apartment, seeing Magnus waiting for him on the couch. “Alexander, you had me worried sick, why didn’t you call?” He asks, but Alec just walks toward him and throws himself into the other man’s arms. They back up into the couch and collapse onto it, Alec’s head on Magnus’s chest. Magnus smells the other man briefly, recognizing the scent immediately. “Are you… high?”

Alec nods, losing his self-control. He cries into Magnus’s chest, holding onto the other man’s shirt. Magnus pets his hair until he finally feels Alec start to calm down. “Am I a bad person?” Alec asks, his voice timid.

Magnus raises an eyebrow, confused as to where this episode came from, but also concerned for the other man. “Absolutely not, darling,” Magnus says. “Alexander,” he pulls on Alec’s shirt, making him sit up so he can look him in the eyes. “You’re the most compassionate person I know. You’ve saved dozens of children in court get away from broken homes, you basically ran the phone line back in California… No matter what anyone says, you are not a bad person.”

Alec takes a few deep breaths, calming himself down. He rests his head on Magnus’s chest, listening to his heartbeat. “Luke got back to me about the case,” he says. “No jail time, like you wanted, but the guy who punched you has to do public service for five years, and we officially have a restraining order.” Magnus smiles and holds Alec’s hand.

“I love you,” Alec says, kissing Magnus. He gets lost in the other man’s lips, forgetting everything that happened that night, at least momentarily. As he walked into work every morning, he felt powerful. In the paper, journalists wrote about his success. His father would have to live knowing Alec made it without him. But with Magnus, he felt comfortable. He felt safe. He didn’t have to flaunt his power.

As things get more heated, Alec feels an aching in his chest pulling him toward Magnus. Everything Magnus did always pulled Alec toward him. Alec feels Magnus unbuttoning his own shirt, hands shaking. Alec can’t help but cry out as Magnus starts kissing his collarbone, then down his chest. “Magnus, I…” Alec whispers, forcing himself over on the couch cushions as he hears Magnus unzip his pants. He feels Magus’s calloused hands grab his hip bones, pulling his body back. “I need you.”

 

_January 15 th, 2003_

Maia listens at the door as Simon dry heaves into the toilet. She sighs, waiting for him to finish. Once she hears the water running, she slowly opens the door. “Are you okay?” He nods, hunched over the sink. She helps him wash up. “If you don’t want to go, we don’t have to.”

“No, it’s fine,” Simon says, rinsing his mouth out with mouth wash. “I go through this every day, Maia. I’m used to it. We need to hurry up, I don’t want to be late. I’m excited to meet your parents.” They start to walk out of the apartment, but Simon catches a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He knew he was skinny, but he hated how pale he was. “On second thought, Maia, I don’t know.”

“Why? What’s wrong? Do you want to change your shirt?” She asks, and Simon looks at her, confused.

“What? What’s wrong with my shirt?”

“Uh… nothing. But, Simon… what’s really wrong?”

Simon sighs. “It’s just… I know it’s going to come up. I’m scheduled to take my pills during dinner. They’re going to wonder, and I’m going to be… ashamed.” He sighs. “I’m so tired of being ashamed.”

Maia hugs him and kisses his cheek. “You don’t have to be. I’m not ashamed of you, they won’t be. It’s part of who you are, and they can accept that.”

Simon looks at her and frowns. “Yeah, but it’s not… all there is about me. Right?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I love it when people comment. Please let me know what else you want to see, which characters, etc!!


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and here we are! sorry this took so long, school was a bitch and finals happened. im also sorry if this feels rushed, i did spend a lot of time on it.

_July 28_ _th_ _, 2004_  

As Alec walks into the apartment, he feels the tension in his shoulders start to ease from a long day at work. His workload was stacking up, which meant he spent most of his evenings studying each case. It was becoming overwhelming, and he knew that Magnus noticed how little time they spent together. Many nights, they went to bed facing in opposite directions. Magnus would lay under the covers, curled up into himself. Alec knew there were words unspoken, but he didn’t have the time to pry. Not when there were child’s lives at stake.  

He was used to smelling food when he got home, either ordered in or cooked by Magnus himself. But tonight, the kitchen is bare, save for a half-drunken cup of tea. Magnus sits on the couch, hidden under a blanket, dark circles around his eyes. “Hey,” Alec says, his voice soft. Magnus doesn’t respond, still staring at the screen. With a sigh, Alec loosens his tie, and shrugs off his suit jacket. “Did you already eat?” Alec asks.  

“I’m not hungry,” Magnus responds, his voice dull. Alec opens his mouth to say something, but changes his mind. As much as he wanted to pry, he had to find a way to win his case that week. If he didn’t, a little girl was going to be kept with her abuser. After nearly an hour of work, the buzzer rings. Once he notices that Magnus isn’t getting up, Alec runs to answer the door.  

On the other side, a young girl stands, smiling at him. Her eyes are a piercing blue, clashing with her bright red hair. It had been years since he had seen her, but Alec put everything together quickly. “Celine?” He asks. “What are you doing in Manhattan?”  

“Proving my dad wrong,” she says, walking past him and into the apartment. Alec and Magnus make eye contact across the room, confused. “I got into NYU,” she continues. “But I want to go on a road trip with my boyfriend, and he says I’m not mature enough. So, I got all the way here from upstate by myself, just using public transit.”  

“Does he know you’re here?” Alec asks, and she shakes her head. “Knowing Jace, he’s probably freaking out right now.”  

“He’s still at work,” Celine says. “He’s always working. He missed my graduation because of work. My entire life, all he’s talked about is how much he’s given up so I could have a future, and I get that, but... what’s the point if he’s not going to be there to see it?”  

Alec sits next to Magnus on the couch, and feels him lean in. Their shoulders touch, then their elbows, and finally their hands. Alec feels Magnus squeeze, gently. “A road trip from upstate is a lot different than driving across the country.”  

“I know,” Celine says, sitting across from them. “But he just doesn’t get it. All he cares about is controlling my life. He always interrogates my friends, checks to see if my homework is done... he never even lets me go to parties. He’s such a buzzkill.”  

When Alec laughs out loud, he earns a mean glare from the teenager. “Alexander,” Magnus says. “You shouldn’t laugh.”  

“I’m sorry,” Alec says. Celine crosses her arms, angry, and Alec could place a bet that he was looking at Clary. “It’s just... you don’t know your father like we do.” He gets up, walking to a small bookshelf. He browses for a moment, before finding what he was looking for. A photo album Maia had gifted them for Christmas the year before. He flips through the book, falling on an old polaroid dated in 86’.  

It’s faded, but Alec can still decipher the photo. Jace and Alec sit on the hood of Jace’s old car, the paint still slick black. There are empty beer cans scattered around, and Jace is laughing, a blunt between his fingers. His hair is slicked back with gel, a single strand falling in his face. Alec recognizes the distressed denim jacket, old song lyrics scratched in with sharpie.  

He slides the album to Celine, watching her eyes widen at the photo. “Your parents aren’t who they say they are,” Alec says, sitting back down. “When I met Jace, he... he was close to flunking out of high school. Drinking every night. Skipping class. When Clary got pregnant with you, he... he changed. For the better. You should think of it as a thank you.”  

Celine looks at the picture, suddenly getting quiet. She starts flipping through the album, her eyes falling on old pictures of Jace and Clary. As the night drones on, they eventually get a call from a frantic Jace. With promises that Celine will return upstate the next day, Alec and Magnus start setting up a bed for her on the couch while she gets ready in the bathroom.  

Magnus holds out a picture to Alec. It’s an image of the two together, sitting in Clary and Jace’s backyard for Celine’s tenth birthday, the date 1997. Alec’s hair is thick, poofy, with his 90s haircut. He laughs at the thought. Back then, Magnus almost exclusively wore bright patterned button-ups tucked into high waisted denim shorts. Now, Alec only saw him in his black dance clothes, or covered with a blanket.  

“Do you ever blame me for ruining your life?” Magnus asks. Alec just stares at him with a narrowed eyebrow, concern. “If it wasn’t for me, you would have gone to school at Stanford. You could have gotten your degree so much faster, done so much more...”  

“I didn’t need more than you,” Alec says. He kisses the side of Magnus’ head, pulling him closer. As he listens to Celine shuffle around in the living room, he feels a longing feeling in his chest. 

 

 _December 14_ _th_ _, 2004_  

“You can’t keep her from me,” the woman sitting across from Alec says. “It’s nearly Christmas, and I have so much planned for her. I bought her so many gifts, I’m going to cook a grand meal-” 

“No, you aren’t,” Alec says. “After I’m done with you, you’re going to jail, Iris.” The woman repels back in her chair, her eyes flaring with anger. 

“On what charges? Being a good godmother to Madzie?” Iris asks. Alec wants to say more, wants to grab her by her shoulders and scream in her face. But instead, he just walks out of the room, blood boiling.  

 

After opening statements and a handful of Iris’s neighbors testifying, Alec calls the woman herself to the stand. He looks at the jury for a moment, before walking toward Iris. He was known among the other attorneys for his cross-examinations. “You love Madzie, Iris... yes or no.”  

Iris looks at him, confusion in her eyes. “Of course, Madzie is my-”  

“Yes, or no.”  

“Yes,” Iris responds, a tinge of annoyance in her voice.  

“You’re head of the PTA at Madzie’s school, yes or no?”  

“Yes.”  

“Your bank records show that all the money you received from the state for fostering Madzie went to her ‘college fund,’ yes or no?”  

Iris shifts in her seat, looking anxiously at her lawyer. “I only want what’s best for her-”  

“Yes or no, Ms. Rouse?” 

“...Yes.”  

Alec waits a moment, walking closer, toward the jury. “Ms. Rouse, when your neighbor called the police on you, July 21st, an officer found Madzie sitting alone in her room, on the floor, where she had been sitting for nine hours. No food, no water. Just silence. Yes... or no?” Iris scrunches her face in anger. “May I remind you, Ms. Rouse, that you are under oath.”  

“Objection, Your Honor,” the defense lawyer says.  

“Overruled,” the judge responds. “Answer the question, Ms. Rouse.”  

Iris sighs to herself. “Yes.” The jury mumble to each other, and the judge hits his gavel against the podium to silence them.  

“Why, Ms. Rouse?” Alec asks. “What had she done to deserve such a punishment?”  

“She scared me,” Iris responds. “She ran out of the apartment, alone, and I had to chase her down. Someone could have taken her. She didn’t understand how much stress she caused me.”  

“Did it ever occur to you that you were what she was running from?” Alec asks.  

“I love her!” Iris yells. The judge slams her gavel against the podium, but Iris continues. “I do everything for her! I clean up after her, and I cook for her. And she’s so unappreciative! You don’t have children, councilor, you don’t know what it’s like to give everything to a child, only for them to throw it back in your face!”  

“Ms. Rouse, if you do not compose yourself, I will have you thrown in contempt!” The judge says, slamming her gavel again. Iris takes a deep breath, then relaxes in her chair.  

Alec lets the jury bask in the silence for a moment before continuing. “Ms. Rouse, your bank records show that you used Madzie’s college fund to purchase one trip to the Bahamas, for one person, on an adults only cruise ship. Yes, or no? You are under oath.”  

Iris crosses her arms, glaring at Alec. “Yes.”  

Once again, the jury mumble to each other, and the judge hits her gavel against the podium. “So, Ms. Rouse,” Alec continues. “Where was Madzie going to go in that time?” Before Iris can respond, Alec interrupts her. “No further questions.” He walks back to his place in the courtroom, letting the jury answer for themselves.  

 

 _December 18_ _th_ _, 2004_  

 _“_ I don’t know,” Alec says to the social worker standing with him in the courtroom. “My cross examination of Iris was good, but... a lot of her neighbors vouched for her. Without a direct testimony from Madzie, things could go either way.”  

Before the social worker can respond, the jury comes back into the courtroom. “Has the jury reached a verdict?” The judge asks.  

One jury member stands up, a mother. That was the reason Alec choose her. “On the charge of child neglect, the jury finds the defendant... not guilty.” Alec sighs to himself. “On the charge of child endangerment, the jury finds the defendant... guilty.” Alec feels relief wash over him, his anxiety disappearing. “And on the charge of child cruelty, the jury finds the defendant guilty.”  

Across the courtroom, Iris cries out, her attorney holding her back. An officer walks up to her, handcuffs in hand. “In that case...” The judge says. “Iris Rouse, you are to serve the maximum sentence of ten years, with no possibility of parole.”  

Once he gathers his things, Alec turns to the social worker. “So... what happens now? With Madzie, I mean.”  

“She doesn’t have any other family to take her in, so we’ll find her a good foster home in the meantime. Thank you for your time, Mr. Lightwood.” The social worker shakes Alec’s hand before walking out of the courtroom.  

For a moment, Alec stands there, staring at the floor. Then, with a rush of adrenaline, he runs out of the courtroom, all the way out of the building. The social worker is hailing a taxi. “Wait!” Alec yells, catching his attention. He descends down the stairs, nearly tripping over himself, his tie flying into his face. “Wait, please!”  

The social worker turns around, eyes widening as Alec rushes toward him. “Mr. Lightwood?”  

“I’ll do it!” Alec says, catching his breath as he finally makes it to the sidewalk. “I... I want to adopt Madzie. I can give her a good home, good schools...”  

The social worker hands Alec his business card. “Keep in touch.”  

 

 _January 10_ _th_ _, 2005_  

 _“_ You’re late,” Isabelle says, taking her purse off the seat next to hers in the theater.  

“I was working,” Alec whispers. “I only care about watching Magnus anyway.”  

“Don’t let the other dancers hear that,” Simon whispers from next to Isabelle. Alec pretends that he doesn’t see their pinkies touching on the armrest. The lights on the small stage in front of them dim, preventing him from responding.  

On the stage, a slew of dancers in black leggings and loose shirts come out, sliding across the floor. Alec spots Magnus immediately, his limber body moving as graceful as ever. The music starts, a song Alec recognized from the nineties. “ _In the shadows of tall buildings... of fallen angels on the ceilings...”_  

Alec had attended many of the performances that Magnus put on at the school, but this felt different. Normally, they were more choreographed, with costumes. The dancers seemed unsure of what to do, looking around at each other, at Magnus for guidance. He dances in the center, slowly, barely moving, with no energy. It’s not until halfway through the song that he looks up at the audience, finding Alec in the crowd.  

Their eyes meet, but Magnus’s doesn’t have the usual pull he always did. “ _There is a feeling that you should just go home... and spend a lifetime finding out just where that is.”_ As the last verse of the song plays, Magnus shrinks into himself on the stage, burying his head in his knees. Around him, the dancers dance in a circle, then eventually they all come together, covering Magnus from the crowd. The lights turn off, and the crowd is left in the dark.  

 

“It’s interpretive dance, Alec, you shouldn’t read into it too much,” Simon says. “Besides, if anyone really knows Magnus, it’s you.”  

“I know, but... I haven’t exactly been there recently. I’ve been so busy working, and...” Alec trails off as Magnus walks out from backstage. “Magnus.”  

Magnus smiles at them and waves. For a few minutes, Alec stands by while Magnus talks to Simon and Isabelle. Eventually, people start to clear out, and Alec and Magnus walk down the street toward the subway.  

They walk in silence for a while, before Alec speaks up at a red light. “Please talk to me,” he says. Magnus looks at him, confused. “We’ve known each other for almost twenty years, Magnus. I can tell when you’re upset.”  

The cross walk light turns green and they continue down the street. “I’m fine,” Magnus responds.  

“No, you’re not,” Alec says. “I know how much you love dancing. I know you use it to reflect what you’re feeling, Magnus. And that performance was...”  

“Sad? Dark? That was the point, it’s art,” Magnus says.  

“A confession.” Magnus stops again, and Alec looks at his face in the dim red lights of the city. He looks just like he did in that night club twenty years prior, the first time they ever told each other they were in love. “Magnus, please... let me help you.”  

“You wouldn’t understand, Alexander,” Magnus says, walking further down the sidewalk. Alec jogs to catch up to him. “Things are different for you.”  

“How?”  

“You get over things so quickly,” Magnus continues. “No matter what happens, you’re always so strong. You always have been. I... I’ve been like this since I was a child. I killed my own mother, don’t you remember? I’ve always just been fucked up.” He stops at the next crosswalk, turning around to look back at Alec. The cold air makes a fog around the couple. “You don’t know what it’s like to wake up every day, and feel disappointed that you’re alive. I still have dreams about my mother... about Helen... Simon... and wonder why it wasn’t me.”  

As he pulls away from Alec, stepping out into the street, Alec feels everything in slow motion. Magnus’ back to him. Headlights. Tires screeching. 

 

 _March 18_ _th_ _, 2005_  

 _“_ It’s itchy,” Alec complains, watching as Magnus carefully draws another design over the cast on his leg. He only had one more week left before he would be getting it sawed off, then starting physical therapy. Magnus stops drawing for a moment, his hand tensing, before he continues. Alec sighs, knowing that Magnus blames himself for the injury. Alec’s memory was hazy, but from what he’d heard, he had noticed the oncoming car as Magnus crossed the street, and surged forward, pushing Magnus out of the way. “How was therapy today?” He asks, eager to change the subject.  

“Good,” Magnus responds. “I... I have been slowly accepting the fact that my mental illness is most likely in fact hereditary. It’s hard for me to not just think there’s something wrong with me.”  

Alec grabs the other man’s hand between his, pulling him closer. He kisses his cheek, then forehead. “The night of the accident,” he starts. “You called me strong. For ‘dealing’ with everything so well. But the truth is... without you, I don’t know who I would be. I would have lived my life lying to myself... I would have let other people dictate who I was. Whatever tragedy we’ve had to go through... I only got through because I had you.”  

Before Magnus can respond, the doorbell rings, and he springs up, running to get it. On the other side stands the social worker that helped Alec with Madzie’s case. “Hi, Magnus Bane,” he holds his hand out and smiles. “So nice to meet you, please, come in.” The social worker smiles and walks in, looking around at the apartment.  

Alec stumbles over in his crutches, and they get to talking. It starts with a tour of the apartment; which Magnus had decorated the night before in hopes to impress. Eventually, the three men sit down in the living room. “Well, Mr. Lightwood, Mr. Bane, everything is looking really good for you. The apartment is in a good neighborhood, you both have stable jobs, and a compatible relationship. The only problem is...”  

“Only one of us can adopt,” Alec finishes, and the social worker nods. “We’ve already discussed it. We have faith that one day, we can have joint custody over Madzie, but... until then, I will be her legal guardian.” The social worker pulls paperwork out of his briefcase, and Alec starts filling it out. He feels Magnus slouch over on the couch. The guilt he felt filling out the paperwork was gut-wrenching.  

 

 _February 14_ _th_ _, 2007_  

When Isabelle walks into her apartment after work, she’s greeted with a slew of streamers and balloons, red and pink for the holiday. Simon runs into the room holding a large stuffed bear, and Isabelle laughs. “What is all of this for?” She asks.  

“Valentine’s Day, of course,” he responds, putting the bear on the floor. “I know it’s cheesy, but... I had something I wanted to ask you.”  

“I already know what you’re going to say,” Isabelle says. “I found the ring in your jacket pocket when I was doing laundry.”  

Simon’s shoulders fall, and he watches as Isabelle walks around to the couch, popping a balloon with her heel. She pats the cushion, indicating him to sit next to her. “You don’t want to get married,” Simon says. “I know that you’re focused on work, I shouldn’t have-”  

“You’re wrong,” Isabelle interrupts. “I am angry, but not it’s not because I don’t want to say no.” She sighs, and drops to the floor, on one knee. Simon looks down at her, his eyes wide. “I was going to ask you first. I know it’s unconventional, but-”  

“I don’t care. Say it.”  

“What?”  

“Say it, Izzy. I want to hear you say it.”  

Isabelle chuckles, then looks back up at him. “Simon Lewis, will you marry me?”  

“No.” Isabelle gasps, then Simon just laughs. “Just kidding, yes.” He grabs her suit jacket, pulling her up toward him. “Absolutely,” he continues, kissing her. “Of course,” he says in-between kisses.  

“Shut up,” she responds, pulling off her blazer. They fall into each other on the couch, forgetting about the rest of the world.  

 

That night, the two lay on Isabelle’s bed, staring up at the ceiling. Simon plays with Isabelle’s hair, listening to her soft breathing. “I’m going to die soon,” he whispers. She shifts under the sheets, looking up at him.  

“Simon, you know I don’t like it when you talk like that,” Isabelle says, resting her head on his chest. She could hear his heartbeat pick up, pounding against his chest.  

“It’s true, Izzy,” Simon continues, his voice cracking. “My doctor said it’s a miracle I’ve lived this long already. I’m running out of time.”  

Isabelle feels tears well up in her eyes, slowly falling down onto his chest. She takes a deep breath. Since college, when Simon got the disease, she knew that one day, he wouldn’t be there anymore. But back then, she didn’t picture herself proposing to him. Since they had gotten together, she pushed the thought out of her mind.  

“We don’t have to have a wedding, you know,” she whispers, staring past him, out the window at the New York lights, the same ones she grew up with. “We could go to the courthouse tomorrow and get married. And then, we could go wherever you want. London. Paris. Madrid. Anywhere, Simon.”  

Simon feels the wetness of her tears on his chest and sighs, wrapping his arm around her bare back. “As long as I die with you by my side, we could be anywhere in the world.”  

 

 _May 5_ _th_ _, 2009_  

 _“_ Be honest with me, were they actually good dancers?” Alec asks Magnus as they stand in the crowd of the other PTA parents after the elementary school's final play of the year.  

“I’m not going to answer that,” Magnus responds. Before Alec can elaborate, another couple walk up to them, the parents of one of Madzie’s friends.  

“You must be Madzie’s father, Alexander, right?” The father asks, holding out his hand. Alec shakes it, forcing a smile. He always hated socializing.  

“Alec is fine. This is my partner, Magnus,” he gestures to Magnus, who holds his hand out too. The man looks at it for a moment, before reluctantly shaking. “Madzie’s other father.”  

The couple look at each other for a moment, then back at Alec and Magnus. “Oh,” the woman says. “I’m sorry, we aren’t trying to be rude. It’s just that, we thought at a private school, the kids would be more sheltered from more... obscure things.”  

Magnus feels Alec tense next to him, and he grabs his hand to calm him down. “Well, Alexander and I have been together for over twenty years. We’re hardly... obscure, you said?” The woman blushes. “In fact, it’s people like  _you_ that should be shut out from this school. Ignorance is taught, and I don’t believe our children should be around such... obscure opinions.” With a fake smile, Magnus pulls Alec away from the couple.  

“You didn’t have to do that,” Alexander says. 

“Yes, I did,” Magnus responds. “Those people needed to be put in their place. Alexander, I’m tired of constantly having to prove our love for each other.”  

Alec sighs, squeezing Magnus’s hand. “I know.”  

Once they pick up Madzie, the family get to the car. At their daughter’s request, they turn on the radio, blasting it loudly. The radio station was playing  _oldies, but_ _goldies_ _,_ and Alec and Magnus relish in the fact that they grew up with most of the songs. Eventually, a song with a familiar harmonized vocal track comes on. It then breaks into an eighties-esque beat with a synthesizer playing a nostalgic rhythm for the couple.  

Once the lyrics come in, Magnus starts singing along, looking over at Alec. “ _Put on your red shoes and dance the blues.”_ Alec laughs at it continues, and Madzie joins in, humming along the best she could.  

The chorus comes on, and Alec finds himself joining in, surprising the other two. He and Magnus sing in unison, looking at each other. “ _If you say run, I’ll run with you,”_ Reaches over with one hand, cupping Magnus’s hand. “ _And if you say hide, I’ll hide.”_  

Alec’s mind races back over twenty years, to the makeshift prom he and Magnus had in Magnus’s living room. He remembers spending the night drinking, dancing with each other. Magnus’s ridiculous dance moves. Their gentle kisses. The future being unknown. And Alec was still just as in love with Magnus now as he was then.  

“ _Because my love for you, would break my heart in two, if you should fall, into my arms, and tremble like a flower.”_  

 

 _June 24_ _th_ _, 2011_  

 _“_ I can’t believe you’re a  _grandfather_ now,” Alec says, watching as Jace bounces a baby on his shoulder. “Don’t you feel old?”  

“First of all, don’t call me that,” Jace responds. “Second of all, we’re the same age.” Alec laughs, ignoring Jace’s eye roll. “How old is Madzie now, twelve? It happens fast, man.”  

“Don’t you even start,” Alec teases back. Jace smirks, and the two go back to watching the flat screen. The news of the Marriage Equality act being brought up to the government of New York, their family and friends together in support. As the commercials on the screen come an end, Alec feels Magnus sit next to him on the couch. From the kitchen, he hears Maryse and Isabelle run in, aprons still on from cooking dinner.  

Magnus grabs Alec’s hand, squeezing it as hard as he ever had. On the screen, the reporter turns around with her microphone in front of the New York City courthouse. “This just in: in the state of New York, the Marriage Equality act has been passed, allowing same-sex couples the right to get married. This is truly a milestone for members of the LGBT community here in our home state.”  

The broadcast continues, and everyone in the room cheers. Maryse pulls in Isabelle for a hug, then urges Max to join. Jace and Clary cheer, looking over as Magnus grabs Alec’s shirt, pulling him in for a passionate kiss. Madzie hugs Catarina, holding her as tight as she could.  

Alec pulls away for a moment, staring into Magnus’s eyes, glistened with tears. In that moment, he felt like a teenager again, sitting on Magnus’s bed, falling more and more in love with him every time they put on a new record, every time Magnus read him a new poem. Alec kisses him again, wrapping his arms around the other man’s neck, pulling him as close as he could, never letting go.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you all so much for reading and coming on this journey with me this story has been a trip. leave a farewell comment so we can feel this sigh of relief together! <3

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading! if you're here from the original story, let me know in the comments!


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